Food shopping frenzy

I can always remember being at work and talking about needing to do a big shop that coming weekend and people looking at me like I was crazy.

Are you mad? Do online shopping, get it delivered. It’s sooo much easier.

I debated trying it for a long time. Fast forward to having a toddler and twins and me and the other half decided maybe it would be easier having our food shopping delivered. Tying to get round a supermarket with a tantrumming toddler was testing enough, add 2 twin babies to the mix and it was near impossible. We found ourselves starting to ask people to watch the kids so we could go do our food shop.

Now I don’t know about you, but I really really value my child free time and to waste it going food shopping is not top of my list! 

A couple of months back we went for it and sat down to set ourselves up and order our first big shop online. We badly needed to budget and since we always purchased nappies in one shop we thought it made sense to go with them.

Hmmm. Well so much for the easier and more relaxing element to it. We spent over 2 hours building a shopping list of items. And then? The site crashed. 

No I’m not joking. You know that feeling when you’ve nearly finished a big project for school/Uni, a work presentation, a blog and then realise you’ve not saved your work? Your computer crashes. That sinking feeling of dread.

Yep had it all. And you know what? The convenient online supermarket shopping website wiped our whole order!

Cue me having a moaning phonecall to customer service - who took ages to answer and were about as much use as a chocolate teapot. 

I was so determined to finish the job that I stayed up until gone midnight re ordering all the items. 

Hm. Not quite so relaxing so far.

We then get to the delivery. The day of delivery my other half gets an email - substitutions...we had decided to accept them when ordering, how bad can it be? And we weren’t exactly requesting out-there items, so I assumed most things would be fine. 

There were so many items replaced and some of them I have to say did not make sense to me. Maybe it’s because I’m a first timer I thought, I don’t get this online food shopping game. 

And then it was time for the shopping to actually make it to our home and cupboards, fridge and freezer. To be fair it was on time, but I then felt like somebody competing on Supermarket Sweep, rushing to get items out of crates on my doorstep whilst they delivery driver dropped more and more plastic boxes in and around my porch.

We’ve since used the same firm another couple of times. We chose no substitutions this time. We then ended up around 15 items short - 15 relatively important items I should add. And we went for an evening delivery - this not only seems to mean less availability of ordered goods, but also that the Supermarket Sweep re-enactment needs to also be done as quietly as possible so neither of us wakes the kids!  

What is it? Are we using the wrong company? Being too fussy? 

Maybe I’ve had this idealised view in my mind for so long from others I’ve built it up to something more in my head. 

All I can say is I really haven’t found it all that convenient or relaxing just yet.

I did however use another supermarket last night and the delivery is due tomorrow. Who knows, maybe I’m about to be blown away by it all? 

Don’t hold your breath...   

Constantly comparing

It’s been a few days. I jotted down some ideas of things I wanted to blog about and then an upcoming twins birthday, trying to make plans and a teething baby have meant I’m too tired to blog of a night (when I normally type furiously away on my phone when all the kids are in bed). 

Well as I mentioned my twins will turn 1 shortly - on 4th February in fact - and I’ve been trying to plan for a family birthday party, a celebratory day out, presents, I could go on.

Part of the process of achieving the first birthday is the 1 year development check.

And it got me thinking of all the checks all my children have been through already. In fact I often think back to something in my own development in childhood.

I’m a tall girl, I’ve always been tall. Neither of my parents are particularly tall but for some reason I’m way up there. I’m about 5ft10/5ft11. When I was young and I was being measured at some check or other with my Mum (I assume at a doctors or health centre of sorts) I still to this day remember them being concerned how tall I was and they were actually talking about whether I would stop growing... and then? They tried to suggest to my Mum the idea of giving me medication to stunt my growth! Seriously! 

Needless to say we didn’t go down the medication route and shock horror I did stop growing!

I totally get over the years it’s beneficial how we’ve gained more and more research to help check our children are ‘okay’. We want to know our families are healthy.

But how do we ensure it’s a check that someone is ‘on track’ and not in any danger healthwise, rather than trying to fit everyone into a box? 

We know deep down these checks - they start from birth - are based on the ‘average’ person. 

However, I’m sure I’m not the only one who has worried about how their child is progressing. If they don’t fit into the average, why not? Are we instantly labelling them as failures/having issues?

If your child’s leg or arm doesn’t move as it should at birth that’s a physical indication something might be wrong. I get that.

However, when you go for a 1 year check and your child doesn’t point yet it’s truly not a big deal. You can be made to feel it is though. Once one thing is pointed out it starts the ball rolling with others. It makes you look at other milestones they may not have reached on time.  

When I had my first child I panicked and I won’t lie I still compare her now to others and worry if she’s doing what she should or why is she doing certain things others aren’t.

In the same way that people say nowadays our social media world causes them to feel pressured to look a certain way, these development checks can cause you to constantly question your parenting and your child. In fact I think nowadays there’s a huge pressure and culture of labelling.

We need to have a checklist to make sure we fit - even from birth - and if someone isn’t ticking those boxes then it’s time to stick a label on.

I’ve done it myself with my daughter - she’s very tall for her age and strong. She’s full of energy and very talkative and intelligent with a lot of things. What did I do? I grew concerned she had some behavioural disorder. And at times I still find myself worrying. 

I’m sure not everyone is like me! I am a natural born worrier! But I am concerned that often using these averages and quantitative analysis on ourselves leads to constant comparison. Isn’t it a case of needing to apply qualitative observations too? 

Are we at the top, the same, fitting the mold? 

If not what can we do to be the same? 

When I’ve been pregnant I’ve always tried to use hypnobirthing techniques and I strongly believe in the power of hypnobirthing. One of the things it teaches is with regards to labour and your ‘due date’. Straightaway you should think of the date you’re told your baby ‘should’ or ‘will’ arrive as a suggested date around which they may be born instead. Let your baby be born when they’re ready to enter the world (obviously if there’s some medical emergency and they need to be brought into the world more quickly then of course that’s what you do). 

Anyway why don’t we adopt this approach with the way we grown and learn? Why do we say that we should be doing these things by a certain age. Why can’t we remember and be happy in the knowledge no child is the same and they develop at their own pace? 

It’s life. The human race. Some people are tall, some people are short. Some people are confident, some are shy. Some children will be creative, some will be more active, some will be adventurous, some will prefer regularity and gain comfort from their usual setting. I could go on and on.

Difference is a good thing. Why don’t we stop fighting it and trying to make everyone fit? 

Next time one of my children has a check or I observe them around other children of the same age I’m going to really try and keep this mindset...

Manners cost nothing?

I remember writing about people’s behaviour previously http://themelican.blogspot.com/2011/06/on-mission-to-find-manners.html and how basic manners seemed to be disappearing. 

Well it’s a number of years on and wow have things changed.

And not for the better.

Manners and concern for others at times feel like they’ve totally gone out the window. 

I regularly witness selfish drivers (and in fact dangerous drivers). People just go through a red light, cut people up, and we’ve found our baby on board stickers in the back of the car make no difference whatsoever. Well, my fiancé used to drive ambulances and still experienced this behaviour so clearly nothing has an impact! I don’t drive and to be honest I think I’d be scared too nowadays anyway! 

Walking down a high street so many people walk right at you, push in front when there’s a queue or don’t apologise if they knock into you. 

Having a big tandem buggy and a toddler in tow at times I am conscious I take up a lot of the pavement. I try to make sure we move out the way as often as we can. But do you know what? Many a time I wish I hadn’t bothered because it’s rare we get a thank you or any acknowledgement.

I’ve been struggling along before now with all the kids and people - who could easily have moved - have made me struggle to get past rather than them moving slightly out the way. 

Take the recent debate on parent and child car park spaces - the number of times I’ve seen people in these that don’t have any children. People just don’t care. It’s all about what suits them. 

Funny enough on the way to Baby Sensory today we came to a narrowing of the path and I instinctively stopped walking with the pram and let a lady through. She stared at the twins and ignored me. Nice.

When did manners become such a novelty? 

It’s one of the things we’re very keen on as parents to instil in our children to be kind and polite. To me it’s a basic standard way to behave and I still to this day find it shocking when others are clearly not of this belief. 

How hard is it to say thank you, please, sorry? 

Am I being a stereotypical queue-loving rule-abiding Brit here? Are manners old fashioned now? A thing of the past?

Who decided it wasn’t necessary to be polite anymore? 

Is it a similar case to what happens as a commuter? I used to dread seeing people I knew on the commute when I was at work as I turned into this short tempered huffing rushing beast. People clambered to get on tubes, rushed for a seat and you ended up mirroring their behaviour in some sort of survival mode technique. 

So do people see others not using manners and end up simply replicating that behaviour? 

Is this trend going to revert and manners will come back ‘in fashion’? Or are we going to find things get increasingly worse? I truly hope not. 

So what do you think? Are manners important anymore? Let me know your thoughts. Erm...please. Thank you. 

Why can’t we just be happy as me?

I’m sitting in front of a daytime TV program and there’s a woman on here who’s had various injections to ‘make herself a black woman’.  It made me think about people and their appearance and how commonplace it is now to want to be somebody else. 

Obviously this is an extreme example, but in today’s social media society you only have to flick through a few images to see how everybody wants to be an idealised version of ‘me’.

There are beauty shops everywhere nowadays and I’ve noticed even an increase in men’s barbers and grooming shops just on our local high street. It’s not a female-heavy phenomenon anymore. 

People are constantly trying to be different to their original selves. 

Young women having various cosmetic procedures - lip fillers, body shaping - numerous filters on pictures, teeth whitening. The list is endless. 

Is this the result of a selfie generation? Many can’t do anything without taking a photo or posting on social media. So do people then think it must look perfect and therefore their appearance must be what’s perceived as perfect?

Even young girls now are posing with their hand on hip, perfecting their pout and taking a selfie from the right angle. 

When did it become the norm to not accept who you are?

Why can’t we just be honest and be ourselves? 

Are the pressures now that high that we need to be pretend to be something else?

Or is it harmless and just a form of escapism? 

When did things change? 

How do you feel?

Personally I’m aware I’ve changed so much obviously just from ageing and moreso from having children! However, myself I don’t think I’d have any form of surgery or cosmetic procedure to change me.

Although I do dye my roots in my hair as I don’t like the greys showing, I do wear makeup, so I suppose I too do change myself to an extent. I’d argue it’s just covering up a bit and highlighting my features rather than trying to change them...Or am I just in denial? 

Why is it we do not feel confident in how we are naturally to be seen in photos or out in public without this heavily filtered image in front of us?

Re-grouping

Anyone who knows me knows I was a baby social butterfly when my first was born. 

If there was a local group to go to I was finding it out and trying it!

I don’t drive so I’d walk everywhere and go to music groups, playgroups and more branded things like sensory or baby ballet.  Sometimes with other Mum friends or sometimes on my own and I meet other Mums. 

I was non stop and it was full on but I really enjoyed it and thrived on being out and busy. 

In fact I hated it if I had to stay in and would get fed up staying indoors. 

People told me when I had the twins to realise I wouldn’t be able to go out as much. Something I was not looking forward to.

I’ve had to stay in more and I’ve had to get used to it to be honest. 

However, I truly believe in the power of leaving the house and getting some fresh air - particularly as a stay at home Mum or new Mum. You can truly go a little crazy being indoors all the time just you and a baby/babies. 

Of late I started to feel that a bit more again. Whether it’s where the children are getting a bit bigger now (i.e. out the newborn phase) or because it’s Winter (I’m a Summer and sun girl and hate the cold and dark days), I’m unsure.

So I’m slowly but surely trying to get back to it. It’s tiring and hard to get all 3 up, out and ready in time (and I do need help from  others to do it which shock horror I feel

guilty for!)

This week though has been more action packed and has been much more out the house.

Monday - preschool for Olivia in the morning and a play date with couple of friends and the kids in afternoon at ours

Tuesday - tried a gymnastics themed group in the morning, took twins Baby Sensory in the afternoon

Wednesday - preschool for Olivia in the morning and a bit of relax in the afternoon as the twins are teething and Olivia is going through a very odd clingy phase at the moment

Thursday - tried a playgroup run by ladies who did a former playgroup we used to go to regularly 

Friday/today - went for the 2nd time to a local church playgroup my Aunt volunteers at and out for lunch after 

I’m super tired this week, but my partner has been doing some night shifts, the twins are teething and as mentioned Olivia’s having yet another odd ‘phase’. I’ve also been trying to start to do a combined bath/bed time which has been a huge success so far! (Yes you are right in picking up sarcastic vibes there!) Who knows the tiredness might be more from going out more too.

But you know what? I feel so much better mentally for getting out more.

I feel it’s better for the kids as they’re socialising more with others and getting out and discovering more. In addition, for me, I’m getting some conversation with other people and I’m away from the same toys/crafts cluttering my lounge and the same rhymes/kids programs on my phone/TV! 

So as long as my energy levels let me - and my little ‘helpers’ (thank you my family and Trev’s) are about - I’m going to try get back to a more regular group life. 

Wish me luck!

Mum guilt

I remember when I found out I was pregnant with the twins (well I didn’t realise there were 2 just then!) My first thought was to my daughter, my first born,    what if she felt pushed out? 

Being an only child myself I’ve always felt it all had to be about Olivia. I couldn’t get my head round the idea of having more than one child and in particular how can you love another child as much as the one you have.

I’d love to say this was the first time I experienced some sense of guilt at my actions/decisions potentially impacting my child. Ha! Who am I kidding?! I don’t think I could even count the number of times I’ve felt guilty over something linked to my daughter. 

And now there are 3? Well, there’s not any hope left for me now...

Guilty as charged. 

I’ve always been a people pleaser type of person so it’s likely through most things in my life I will have felt bad about what I may have said/done in case it upset the apple cart and caused any offence.

Being a Mum? That’s a whole different story, this is a different level.

I feel guilty for maybe hugging two and leaving one out, for not going back to work (am I setting a bad example), for thinking of going back to work (abandoning them?), not doing enough classes with them, not reading enough, allowing too much screen time, not disciplining enough, being too shouty, for not making healthy enough meals, for being too strict with treat snacks, and on and on and on and...

The biggest guilt? At the moment, the ongoing constant battle of whether I am treating them all fairly.

It’s the twins first birthday fast approaching and I’ve lost count the amount of times I’ve felt guilty over what we’re doing - or not doing - for it.

After your first child even I know it’s standard to not do perhaps quite so much with any additional siblings. 

But I’m constantly comparing Olivia’s first birthday to what we’re looking at for the twins, and there’s two of them.

Case in point everything had to be new with Olivia. The twins? We were welcoming on any donated clothes, toys, equipment from well wishing friends and relatives.

Often I get told ‘they won’t know’ when I feel things aren’t the same this time round - lack of classes, not reading as much, party plans - all of it. But I’ll know and that’s the problem.

I remember when I was pregnant with my first and talking about feeling bad about something I’d done/not done and I was told to get used to it - welcome to the world of Mum guilt.

Do men not get this? What do you guilt trip over?

I literally do not stop feeling guilty when it comes to my children and friends are always telling me of their guilt over all sorts of things.

Why do we do it? 

I read somewhere recently if you’re feeling guilty about something as a parent it’s probably a sign you are a good parent as if you were a failure/bad parent you wouldn’t worry and wouldn’t be questioning yourself!

I remember thinking what a good point this was. Until worrying about the next thing! 

Tonight? I’m going to bed feeling like a failure because of bathtime and bedtime. 

It’s safe to say tonight was an utter shit storm. It did not go well.

I’m trying to set up a new bath and bed routine which can involve all 3 kids (and stops my guilt at leaving crying twins downstairs whilst I bath my eldest). 

Tonight, they were all over tired and needless to say my chosen method and order of bathing was not a success. I ended up a hysterical screaming monster and have spent the evening since feeling guilty at how I snapped at the babies and made Olivia upset too (in response to their hysterical behaviour first I should add).

My daughter needed her hair washed tonight which inevitability took longer and she was shattered as it’s a preschool day today too. 

Well, the twins were tired and unhappy and wouldn’t stop crying and Olivia just wanted her bath and bed (I bathed the twins first). At a few times all three were screaming and crying (which surprisingly is a rarity to be fair) and I was there screaming along with them (well at them!) 

If I hadn’t done that? Mum guilt for not washing her hair, Mum guilt for leaving the twins to cry downstairs, Mum guilt for not bathing the twins enough. I could go on...

So why are we always feeling so guilty? 

I know lots of Mums who I wouldn’t say are ‘people pleasers’ like me who suffer this too, so it cant just be my obsessive worrying personality! 

And how comes men seem so laid back? Well they seem to be, let me know if I’m wrong and as a make you get parenting guilt.

Any tips for beating the guilt?

Or is that it now? A lifetime of guilt for them, about them??

I’m dropping my phone as I type this as I’m falling asleep where I’m tired, it’s been one of those days! So for now I’m going to try get some sleep before I start to feel guilty about something else!!

Please slow down my baby

Seeing those words, that line, announcing you are there
Feeling those flutters within, making me aware

Watching as my bump grows and grows
An overpowering love, nothing else like it does anyone know

Then the day you officially appear on this earth
As they hand you to me, nothing else will ever match up to what you’re worth

Then just like that, it’s like someone takes over the clock
Time’s forever flying by, it just doesn’t stop - ticktock ticktock

Non stop firsts - smile, laugh, wave, tooth, crawl
Trying to record them, amazed and so proud of them all

Those adorable newborn features, a blink and you’re an infant now
Then turn around and a little toddler wow

Your skin still so soft, like the most expensive velvet or silk
Eating more and more, turning away more and more from just milk

Your huge pussycat eyes stare up into mine as you drink your bottle or nurse on my chest
Stroking, holding hands, cuddling, kissing, whatever you do, your little touch always feels the best

You once liked nothing more than to breastfeed from me
Then suddenly you stop, it’s like you no longer need Mummy

Starting to do more and more for yourself
Having to try teach you to listen to no, what’s right/wrong/good for your health

Becoming a Mum has been the most amazing thing to happen to me
But it’s also the toughest, it’s racing by way too quickly

When I picture you I will have the biggest smile even if before there was a frown
Life is zooming by, how fast you change, I wish I could slow it down

Nobody ever tells you how fast it goes
Nor how to stop it, how to slow down these precious moments nobody knows

You try to treasure it all despite the fast pace of life, always non stop
But sometimes it’s not possible, it feels like there’s so many balls to juggle, ready to drop

You’ll always be my baby to me, no matter how big you grow
But please slow down my baby, I love you more than you’ll ever know

Our streets: social media mayhem or crime chaos?

As per a previous post I wrote http://themelican.blogspot.com/2017/07/constant-concerns.html it’s not the first time crime and personal safety has been a concern for me.

My other half still thinks I worry too much and I’ve got worse since giving up work and becoming a stay at home Mum.

Granted, I don’t commute in to London anymore and I’m not out at night socialising and drinking.

I do view news via watching the TV or reading online and there seems to be nothing but negativity nowadays - what with Brexit, knife crime, terrorism, moped crime and the like, media is never short of a doom and gloom story.

Neither is is short of people being offended and people being scared to say what they truly think at the risk of being accused of being offensive.

However, it is social media where the up to date and as it happens updates come from and it is overflowing with crime now.

None moreso than local Facebook groups and Twitter.

In fact it’s social media that my fiancé feels is fuelling my fears and at times obsession with the various issues we now face.

I’ve always felt safe where I live and grew up and certain incidents would never happen here and always be the sort you’d hear taking place elsewhere and in ‘rough’ parts of London. Be that fights, theft, stabbings and so on.

Now? Every day there are tales of stabbings, muggings, car theft and burglaries.

To me it feels like crime is rife and my local town is being filled with crime and low life scum who want to harm and steal from the locals. The general consensus is typically people are travelling from other areas to come and do no good here.

What I really don’t know though is whether things really are as bad as they appear - schoolkids getting mugged in broad daylight, stabbings, burglaries, cars being stolen, assaulting innocent people...

And is it any worse where we live or not? I can’t help but feel the area is getting worse and just pray it gets better by the time my children are old enough to be out and about alone.

Belonging to some social media groups helps give an insight into what’s going on so we can be more aware and alert and take extra precautions with our homes or when out.

But do they?

Are these groups giving a true picture of what’s going on and revealing the reality of life now?

Or is it a case of scaremongering?

Is life really so bad now? Or are people getting paranoid and listing every little event and person they see who MIGHT be causing issues. Are people simply sharing more and it’s more accessible to us than ever before so it seems more prevalent?

One things for sure, if our streets really have got that bad something needs to be done and fast. Control has gone, respect for others and the value of life has disappeared. But why?

We know police numbers and funding are drastically cut and everyone is very clear the mess they feel the government has made.

But why have our younger generations and so many of the English population started to feel its normal to carry a knife and use it? It’s okay to just mug a stranger to take what they’ve earnt or been given and treasure from family? Just enter somebody’s home or take their vehicle, snatch away things they’ve worked hard for and in the process cause mental and even physical scarring to any number of people?

I’m genuinely intrigued to know why and if people think things are as bad as it seems.

And also whether I’ve turned into some sort of stereotypical neighbourhood watch older person twitching their curtains and nervous about stepping outside at times!

What’s really going on?

Why it was always going to end too soon

New Year’s Eve.

The end of a year, the start of new things to come.

For me it signified another end. Breastfeeding.

My twins decided they didn’t want to breastfeed anymore.

The signs were there, I’d moved to feeding them on me morning and night only for a while now.

And then, I assume due to teething, my youngest twin, Sophia, started to bite me. I won’t go into details but it hurt and one time she drew a teeny amount of blood!

I didn’t want to stop too soon or risk stopping when actually it was a temporary glitch, I tried a few times and different ways to see if I could convince them to carry on. Even if just one of them, but no new years eve they both pretty much rejected feeding on me.

My first born stopped breastfeeding between 5 and 6 months, so managing nearly 11 months with twins is pretty good going I appreciate.

When my daughter stopped it broke my heart how sudden it seemed and again with the twins I felt cheated. Why was it stopping before I was ready? Again.

I can imagine it’s tough when you want to stop feeding your child/children and they want to carry on too. I guess it’s best they make the decision for you even.

Regardless it’s still not easy to take.

I don’t exaggerate when I say it made me feel heartbroken when they didn’t want to feed off me.

Unless you’ve done it I don’t think you can get it even. My fiancé was super supportive when I was balling my eyes out over it, but I tried to explain to him why I was so sad.

Things I felt:
I will never ever breastfeed again
The bond I felt I got with my children from doing this has now ended
My babies are growing up too fast
My babies don’t need me anymore (anyone can clothe, dress, feed them formula or regular food)
They don’t want me anymore
More silly points too like I’m going to gain lots of weight now, couldn’t they have waited a bit so I could’ve been proud to breastfeed for a whole year, am I going to get health complications by just stopping feeding (mastitis etc)

I could go on.

As the days have gone on, as I expected, I’m starting to accept it a bit more.

I just feel like bedtime isn’t the same with them now too as we don’t have that closeness.

Each to their own, but I’m not one of these people who would choose to feed a child until they’re particularly older/bigger, but it still feels at 10/11 months they could’ve fed a bit longer.

I always remember before having children and when I was younger the thought of breastfeeding actually freaked me out a bit and I can remember thinking ‘ew I wouldn’t want a baby doing that on my boobs!’ (Similar to my idea that if I had a baby I wanted it cleaned up before they handed it to me after birth hahaha).

Once pregnant with my first born I started to feel I’d like to try it. I was lucky in that I never pressured myself and thankfully I never experienced the pressure from any healthcare professionals that some people complain about to breastfeed. My view was always I’ll give it a go and see what happens, if it works great it not I’ll bottle feed.

I’m a firm believer that a baby should be fed in the best way for them/their Mum - whether that’s formula, breastfeed, expressed milk in a bottle whatever. Same with parenting - you do what’s right for your individual child and circumstances.

I don’t know if I’ve been lucky or it was my relatively laid back attitude to breastfeeding, but I’ve been fortunate my children took to it pretty well and I’ve never had too many of the not so pleasant physical experiences breastfeeding can bring (well bar my poor chest shrivelling up to nothing, ha sorry TMI!)

When I was pregnant with the twins one of the - many - worries I had was whether breastfeeding would be possible. I joined some groups online, tried to research and see if I could do it. I went in again with my same attitude of let’s give it a go and see. And I saw about a twin feeding pillow.

Thank heavens for that pillow - seeing it and my NCT friends for clubbing together and getting me one for my baby shower.

It’s been amazing since the twins were born. I seriously couldn’t have done it without it. It’s even been great as a seat of sorts for the twins to lay on as newborns, they loved it!

I’ve still got it in my bedroom resting by my dressing table, like it had been when I used to feed the twins on my bed when they woke/before they went to sleep at night. Pointless now, but I just can’t quite pack it away just yet.

I’m sure I’ll find a way of making bedtimes cuddly and magical again with the twins and I’ve got some photos to remind me of my experience too.

But for this lady, that’s it now, my breastfeeding journey is over, despite the heartache at the end it’s all been worth it and I’m truly so pleased I gave it a go and so grateful all 3 let me do it.

Twins+toddler=chaos!

What’s it like having twins?

How do you ever get anything done?

I’ve decided as part of my blog I’m going to try shed some light on life as a twin Mum - and also the shock of the reality I’ve had to get used to of being a Mum to a tantruming toddler on top of that too! Oh and my fiancé does shift work so a lot of the time I’m alone.

This isn’t a well done me, how amazing am I post. Far from it, I’m literally just answering some questions people always ask and thought it might be interesting to read or for some even useful (if they’re in a similar situation for instance).

So first up a typical day...

I always make sure I get up before the kids. Someone told me when I was pregnant with my first child how they used to get up before their baby then they could always ensure they could get ready for the day. That advice has always stayed in my mind and definitely helps, in particular now!

Our health visitor used to joke that I’m so super organised that maybe my life has been gearing up to being a twin mum, ha!

So this is a typical day, aside from if we’re going out or have plans.

Alarm goes off 645 at the moment.

Get up, get washed and half dressed (my clothes are in a fitted wardrobe in the room which is now the twins - it was our spare room/my dressing room!) Do my hair and makeup etc (if I’ve washed my hair and it needs drying that has to wait!)

If twins still asleep go downstairs and prep breakfast - as they’re no longing breastfeeding I now have to make up 2 bottles for the twins and a beaker of warm milk for my 2 year old, weetabix in a bowl and mashed banana in a bowl for the twins, my water bottle for the day, water beaker for my toddler, water sippy cups for the twins, coffee for me and whatever me/my toddler are having and things for teeth brushingx3. I get all the table, high chairs etc ready so that we’re pretty much good to go once the kids come down.

Twins have their bottles in their cots now and I grab my outfit for the day, then I bring them down in their sleepsuits to play and I go back up to get my first born.

I get her nappy changed and dress her for the day and then we go downstairs. Then she has her beaker of milk and I get all the kids in their seats for breakfast and eat my breakfast in between spoonfeeding the twins. Once breakfast is finished, we have tantrums over face wiping (and whatever my toddler decides to argue about that day!) I then change the babies and get them dressed for the day.

I wash up/clear up whilst the kids play and if we’re going out I pack the change bag and prep any food/snacks/feeds etc

The twins usually then go up for a morning nap and me and my toddler have time together.

Lunch about 1230 for all of them so I normally prep that beforehand too.

Twins have an afternoon nap about 90 mins after lunch and then when they wake need a bottle.

They all have ‘tea’ about 430/5 and then bath for my toddler and bedtime starts at 6.

I have to leave the twins downstairs in the jumperoo/playpen and take my toddler up and we do bathtime, then we read 3 books whilst she has her milk and cuddles. Once she’s down in the cot I then come back down to sort the twins.

The twins normally go up one at a time and they get changed, in pjyamas and then have their milk in their cots and lay down for the night. (They currently have baths in the mornings when my toddler is at preschool or when my fiancé is about at present).

In between all this are various snacks (anyone with a toddler will know how much and how often they eat!) and numerous nappy changes!

Oh and maybe I should mention the twins are now currently trying to climb everything, they pull themselves up on me if my legs are in reach or I’m sat on the floor with them and all 3 children always want to play with the same thing (and of course you have to juggle playing with all 3, stopping the too rough cuddles, keeping small toys/parts away from the twins, listening/responding to my toddler who runs at 100mph all day every day and doesn’t stop talking, singing and jumping/dancing!)

I think I’ve covered most of the basics.

So yeah when I answer you that I don’t really sit down or stop all day, I promise you I’m not exaggerating!