Thursday, 13 August 2015

Nobody knows

Nobody knows

A birthday thought

Nobody knows how much I miss you
How empty I still feel
Nobody knows the daily struggle and heartache
The fact I was ever pregnant no longer seems real

Nobody knows I'm changed forever
You're imprinted on my soul and heart
Nobody knows the overwhelming feelings
How much I loved you already right from the start

Nobody knows the envy 
The hurt and anger that hits me everyday 
Everybody else has got their wish
How comes it was only us that had to experience that godawful day

Nobody knows how hard each event now is 
Yet another painful blow 
Nobody knows each occasion a reminder of loss
What we had, how we miss you so

Nobody knows how short it seems since we lost you
Yet how long it feels to wait 
Nobody knows I'll never be 'over it'
So much emotion, anger, jealousy, hurt and hate

Nobody knows what I think of every minute of every day
What should and could have been
Taken away from us the memorable experiences and happy times, precious moments we should have seen

Nobody knows the struggle is endless
It can't be brushed aside 
You can't put a label on it, from these constant reminders you cannot hide 

Nobody knows I'm exhausted and empty, 
The brave face and positivity such a tiring strain
Reliving those moments and realising the reality again and again 

Nobody knows today on my birthday, what should be a happy time
Celebratory messages and wishes galore
The rain mimics my tears over what was mine
I will always love you, miss you and want a new you for forever more 

Rest in peace my darling Little Seed
Please one day soon come back to me
We love each other so much as a two but we're so ready to be a three