Sunday 31 March 2019

MOTHERS DAY



Making sure everyone else is happy first

Often in old clothes despite the kids regular wardrobe updates 

Trying her best every day but always judging herself

Here for her family no matter what

Early mornings and busy days everyday for her

Ready to paint, sing, run round softplay, cuddle or change nappies always 

Softest touch and kindest smile 



Don’t ever judge each other, stick together, Mum life is hard

Also a blessing, those big eyes looking at you, those arms around you, the tiny hands in yours

Your turn to get spoilt today, you’re their world 

Wednesday 27 March 2019

Save your life in 5 minutes

                  Image: Jo’s Cervical Cancer Trust


I’ve just watched a debate on TV about smear tests. Ever since the sad loss of reality TV star Jade Goody heightened awareness of the health check, it’s popped up in the media it feels pretty regularly.

However; the truth is there are many many women out there who simply do not attend these appointments.

According to a survey by Jo’s Cervical Cancer Trust, one in four eligible women (aged 25-64) do not go for a smear test, rising to one in three among 25-29 year olds.

A welsh salon is the latest to highlight the topic this week, as it has been offering women a free bikini wax if they attend their smear. 

TVs Jeremy Vine Show was asking if this was a good or bad thing. To me there was no debate to be had.

Surely anything that gets women to go get checked is a good idea? 

I get it. I’ve had a few smear tests now, admittedly I’m not so bothered about them since having children. Hey, I think once you’ve given birth or gone through any process associated with getting pregnant you kind of give up the whole concern of who’s looking at your bits!   

When I first went I remember worrying about two things - was it going to hurt and did everything look okay down there.

I think it was my Mum who talked me through what to 
expect - well a rough idea. I was nervous going and it wasn’t the most comfortable experience. 

Whenever I have to go through any sort of internal check I’m always getting told ‘to ‘relax’. 

Like I say, I get it. It’s inevitable you’re going to be nervous about a stranger going down there and wondering if it might hurt.

However, if the alternative is potentially missing the fact you’ve got cancer. Isn’t it a no brainer? 

Yes you’ll avoid potential embarrassment and maybe some discomfort, but you could die.

Maybe that’s a simplistic and dramatic way to put it, but that is exactly the situation you could be putting yourself in by not going.

I agree nobody should feel pressure to look a certain way - whether it’s their genitals, their body shape or even simply their facial features. 

Being human I think it’s a natural instinct to worry about appearance and being judged. It’s certainly fuelled by media images and these picture perfect filtered selfies, but I think 
the pressure has and unfortunately always will be there in some shape or form. 

My view is if it makes you comfortable going to the appointment feeling freshly preened down below and that’s the way you feel happy to attend the smear test, then do it. If you like to treat yourself to a piece of cake after as a well done do it. If you like to have your best matching sexy undies on to feel happy having a smear, do it.

Personally I learnt appearance is NOT of any importance twice in my life. 

Of course I won’t ever forget that day I lay on a bed staring at a screen during a 12 week scan maternity appointment as I was told my baby had no heartbeat and it appeared to have stopped growing a few weeks before. I remember completely how before that appointment I’d carefully done my makeup and painted my finger and toenails, making sure I looked just right for that special moment. Not once did I think about how I looked as I had to go upstairs to another ward and have an internal scan. I never considered how neat my bikini line was as my heart broke and I felt complete and utter emptiness inside. 

Then I always laugh when I remember back to my NCT days and all us expectant Mums were discussing bikini lines, painting our toenails, shaving our legs and all sorts for the birth. I had a pedicure done before the birth! 

Believe me when you’re going through labour and pushing a baby out there is no moment you think ‘oh I’m glad there’s no hair down there’, ‘ooh I’m glad I picked the coral over the pink’ whilst you lay stroking your super soft silky hair-free legs! 

The medical staff are there to ensure that baby is safely delivered into this world and you are kept alive and well. They don’t care how you look. 

When you attend your smear, the doctor or nurse is there to complete the appointment and carry out a short procedure to check you don’t have any abnormal cells suggestive of cervical cancer. They don’t care if you’ve got ‘perfect lips’, ‘hairy bits’ or look like an underwear model. 

Some truths and tips:

Depending on who you go and see you might feel slight discomfort when the nurse or doctor does the swab 
Ask for someone you feel comfortable with - whether that be a female instead of a male, or a certain nurse. I always ask for a certain nurse at my surgery as I know she’s very kind, patient and gentle and always makes me feel at ease (in fact my Mum recommended her for this very reason herself!)
You don’t need to be waxed or shaved downstairs, but if you feel better doing that then do it 
You’ll lie down on a bed behind a curtain on some tissue with your underwear removed 
They need to insert a metal instrument which can be cold - they’ll likely try to warm this a bit for you
The appointment lasts around five minutes 
If you remain relaxed you won’t be tense below and will likely not even feel much
They need to insert and slightly move around a swab (looks like a larger/longer cotton bud) to collect the sample 
As soon as they are done you’ll be able to pop your underwear back on
A considerate nurse or doctor will tell you they’ll pause if you feel uncomfortable and check you feel okay throughout 
If you’re like me you might feel more comfortable chatting to the nurse/doctor during the process to take your mind off things 
This is simply a five minute appointment which could potentially help save your life

So the next time you get that letter advising your smear test is due? Go. Book it. Attend that appointment. You, your family and your friends are surely all worth it? 

Sunday 24 March 2019

Hairy horrors





Having a baby - going through pregnancy, childbirth and the actual caring for the baby and sleepless nights and putting yourself last - all have a huge impact on your health and well-being. Admittedly way more than I’d ever realised or imagined. 

I could go into all the usuals - your weight, tiredness, your boobs, stretch marks, your ‘mummy tummy’ - perhaps in another blog. For now, though, one I never realised, your hair.

Yes, often if people over style their hair - constant dying, straightening, curling and the like - they can damage their hair. But having a baby? Surely the damage is all downstairs? 

Those who’ve been through the whole motherhood thing will likely have been told about your hair often getting thick, glossy and full when pregnant and you may find after birth you start to lose hair a bit as it resets itself back again. 

But what about breakage and thinning? I’ve always had very thick and fast growing hair. It got even thicker and shiny when I was pregnant with my eldest daughter. I took my pregnancy vitamins religiously and ate very healthy most of the time. 

I breastfed my daughter, still taking some vitamins as advised and then suddenly I started to notice these annoying wispy bits of hair at the front of my hairline. 

And then they kept coming. It was a nightmare trying to do my hair. I have a side parting when my hair is down, it’d take so long to find somewhere to part it where the wisps didn’t show. Then if I wanted a ponytail or any style where my hair was brushed back off my face - ha, well needless to say it looked awful!

I’ve seen some people refer to it as a ‘baby fringe’ and some articles suggest on average it takes 15 months to return to normal! 

My hair otherwise was in good condition and although it fell out when drying it was thick and healthy overall. You know when those annoying wispy bits disappeared? Ooh not long after Olivia turned 1 I’d say. And then what?

I got pregnant again didn’t I? With twins! And so it began again!

This time double the hormones and a longer period of breastfeeding. I still took vitamins before and after, but my twin pregnancy diet was nowhere near as healthy admittedly (I blame the boy for that!) 

This time round I noticed the wispy bits pretty early on and there seem more of them. As the twins are around 13.5 months now I was hoping fairly soon my hair would return to normal (it’s certainly not falling out). 

According to gethegloss.com and Anabel Kingsley, “During pregnancy, raised oestrogen levels keep hairs in their anagen (growth) phase for longer than usual...after delivery, levels return rather speedily back to normal, causing hairs to switch from their growth to shedding phase (called telogen).”

“Breastfeeding can also contribute to this due to increases in levels of the hormone, prolactin, which is connected with hair loss too,” Kingsley explains. 

My hair is still pretty bad and I recently had my hair done and my hairdresser noticed on the left side my hair is actually getting quite thin near the edge. 

Anyone else had this, what did you do? Through pregnancy or otherwise I’m sure it makes no difference. I’d love some tips!

For now, I’ve bought some skin, hair and nail vitamins to try. I’m definitely lacking something as I notice my skin is very dry on my hands and feet - something I’ve had since I first had my daughter and she turns 3 in May! 

I already know the benefits of drinking water and most the time I stay on top of this (again something I’m trying to work on at the moment in between handling three under 3!) 

So today was the first day I’ve taken the vitamin and I’ve bought a tub of 30 so let’s see what happens...I’m hoping by the time I go on holiday in a few months it’ll be back to its old self and I can feel confident with my hair once again. It’s been a long time... 

I know from reading the little tufts are simply new hair trying to grow after the loss post pregnancy and birth, and some people feel they look like a troll after, so I’m not alone. At least it’s not breaking as such!

Hey, even popular Mum and author Giovanna Fletcher posted about it.

Hair transplant surgeon Ken L. Williams Jr., a fellow of the International Society of Hair Restoration Surgery, speaking to SELF, explained that hair grows at an average of half an inch a month, so this kind of thing will typically resolve itself once those hairs get long enough to blend in with the rest of your mane.

So basically I’ve got to be patient...let’s just hope it’s solved itself in a few months time so I can soak up the sun so I only need to show off my Mum tum and not my troll head too! Wish me luck! 

Tuesday 5 March 2019

Mum friends

When I slump down on the sofa exhausted from the day 
As I hold my head in my hands, wiping tears away 
There you are to reach out to, in your calm and caring way 

When I’m feeling shame at how my child acts
And questioning myself at my approach to their answering back
There you are with your advice and thoughts, all handled with such tact 

When I feel so cruel for how much I now feel I shout 
As I stand in situations at times feeling the odd one out 
There you are with your comments, helping to reduce my doubts 

When I’m at my wits end, just tired of it all
As I don’t know where to turn and my world now feels so small 
There you are to build me up again, making me proud and tall

When I need to share some things that I worry may be judged by some
As I check my lists and fret over all I haven’t done 
There you are to tell me stories and remind me of things that are fun 

When my child does something of which I am so proud 
As I watch in delight at kind behaviour, lovely words said aloud
There you are to share it with and give praise too so loud 

When something gross happens that would make others feel sick
As I finish some soggy leftovers or help save those melting treats with a lick
There you are with your own tales and funny grotty tricks

When I feel bad at how I now feel and look 
As I note my new shape and the old me that motherhood took
There you are to compliment, remind me to relax, enjoy a treat or book 

When after bedtime I fancy a tasty glass of wine 
As I tuck into some fattening treat so divine 
There you are to support me and share too your naughty but nice lifeline

When I over analyse and question it all 
As I feel over that edge I’m about to fall
There you are at the end of a message, text or call 

Never judging a snack choice, outfit or parenting hack
Always there to support and have my back
Suggesting playdates to help suit me and my brood
Having a good laugh together, helping to brighten my mood
Never a competition about who’s done best 
Always making me feel with you there’s no chance you’ll ever judge, not like the rest 

You are the mum friend I trust 
I rely on and I need
When days are bad or I feel doubt
My worries and sad thoughts are soon freed
It just takes that one mum friend who truly gets you and how things are
Someone who’ll turn up at your door or offer support from afar 
In the form of playdates, lunches, sweets, messaging or wine 

We all need at least that one mum friend and I truly treasure mine