Thursday, 15 October 2015
Thursday, 13 August 2015
Wednesday, 1 July 2015
We were due to be seeing one of our favourite bands, the Foo Fighters, at Wembley and had both got the day booked off. It was one of those things we’d been looking forward to anyway, but given recent events we had even more reason to want some fun.
If you read the news or ever go on Twitter or social media, you’ll have seen frontman Dave Grohl broke his leg whilst on tour in Gothenburg and so since this was mere days before Wembley, it got cancelled. You can imagine how disappointed we were and I’ll admit it felt yet another real kick in the teeth.
However, thankfully, rather than dwell on our upset and situation, we decided randomly late on Wednesday evening, literally a few days before, to do something good with our time off and not waste it.
Learning my fiancé was off work for 2 days (he works shifts) and at around 1am Thursday morning, we made the impromptu decision to book an overnight stay in one of our favourite places in the UK, the New Forest.
We first visited the New Forest in 2013, just for a few days. This time being so last minute most places to stay were booked up and we didn’t even think about where we’d like to visit or what the weather was like.
I’m quite an organised person, my fiancé is super laid back. Most times it frustrates me I admit, but it’s a good balance to have and every so often his approach ends with us having a better time and I learn to try and be a bit more relaxed.
Thankfully, this time around the disorganised, quick decision worked in our favour.
We booked a little country farmhouse B&B in an area called Dibden, on the outskirts of the New Forest. It looked idyllic on the site and various reviews and images we saw, but you never know.
So instead of getting boozed up and rocking out to the Foos, we found ourselves in beautiful countryside, peace and quiet and some quality time the two of us. Perfect.
We made the 2 ½-3 hour drive and when we arrived at the B&B we were not disappointed, just as quaint and pretty as it had looked online. After checking out the lovely country style room, the flagstone floor and beautiful gardens we made our way sightseeing .
There is something about the New Forest, we’ve stopped off there on the way home from my fiance’s brother and his wife’s new home in Bournemouth before now too, in fact earlier this year.
I’m a big lover of animals so I never seem to tire of spotting the horses and ponies on narrow roads or grazing on places such as Emery Downs. We always have fantastic food wherever we go there and tend to find the people are always friendly too.
The good thing about the New Forest is you really can see and do things whether it’s sunny or cold, wet or dry. Although, admittedly, we might time it a little later in future so we can sample the gorgeous New Forest ice cream from the van at Bolderwood and also try the new tour buses – it seems we were little a early/out of season for those!
So my tips? Places I would recommend are:
As above, the ice cream from the van in the Bolderwood parking area - where you can also view the deer at the Deer Sanctuary - is a must!
New Forest Inn – a lovely country pub where you can choose traditional pub grub or try more gastropub fare – delicious
New Forest Wildlife Park – small but fun, great for families (or for couples like us where one of you gets nicknamed Dr Doolittle!)
Any of the walking paths around the forest area in general – beautiful surroundings and you can often spot all sorts of wildlife – ponies or deers running ahead across your path.
Seashells restaurant in Hythe – beautiful seafood meal with a nice view
Lulworth Cove and Durdle Door (about an hour or so drive from New Forest area but well worth it, stunning!)
We didn’t go there this time, but as it’s all so close I am a huge fan of Monkey World in Wareham and of course you can travel to the sea in Bournemouth, I loved Boscombe as it was bit quieter. Lovely beaches! Or if you did fancy more hustle and bustle and a drink, there is a cocktail bar by the pier in Bournemouth that had great views. There are some fab pubs and restaurants round there too in the smaller areas, such as Indis in Westbourne.
Other places we’d been before and I’d recommend are Beaulieu Motor Museum, Burley village and Bucklers Hard.
All in all we had a lovely time, a good mix of great food, relaxing, walking and sightseeing. I’d try and stay in the adorable B&B again and next time make sure we can stay for more than one night! It was two wonderful days, but next time we’ll aim for more, there are just too many lovely things to see and do!
Tuesday, 30 June 2015
Years ago women showcasing their bodies and moving around in underwear would likely conjur up very negative opinions and bring to mind terms such as stripper, tart and easy.
Suggest a woman would go to see such things and admire the female form and you would cause insult and embarrassment.
When you think of burlesque what comes to mind?
According to some family members when I spoke to them recently their impression would be a sleazy strip show and an altogether dirty affair.
So, well aware I am very late to this party I should add, I recently experienced burlesque.
I’d never really thought about it until a few years ago when a colleague told me they were going to see Burlesque with some girl friends and there was talk of something called the Hurly Burly show.
I’ve also obviously heard of the likes of Dita Von Teese, but that is as far as my knowledge goes.
The work colleague didn’t go into too much detail, but suggested they’d had a really good and fun night, ever since I’ve been meaning to try out a burlesque show but it’s never really come about.
Cut to the ever wonderful little local theatre where I live in Hornchurch, the Queens Theatre.
Recently I received one of their regular emails as to what’s on or coming up at the venue.
And what did I see? An Evening of Burlesque.
Reasonably priced and with seats left, I decided to ask my Mum and Auntie if they fancied a visit. Something different, quite last minute, shall we give it a try?
They agreed and we bought our tickets.
Well, I was not expecting what we experienced, mostly in how varied it was.
Yes of course the ladies are in underwear, corsets, stockings and glamour girl makeup (old school glamour I should add here, not Page 3/Essex Girl style!) The women were in all shapes and sizes which I loved, I knew burlesque tends to be relatively curvy girls, but each performer was different.
Whether the show we picked was a good introduction maybe I don’t know, but it was great.
We had a group of dancers, The Folly Mixtures, a compere Ms Ivy Paige, a showgirl in the traditional champagne glass, a hilarious comic ‘ballerina’ (a big guy dressed up pretending to be a Russian ballerina who helped embarrass many of the male audience members), burlesque stripping and dancing and lots and lots of laughs. Along with very high heels and beautiful costumes.
It was a real good way to spend an evening and I’ve since suggested to my other half we go see a show in London together.
Have any of you seen burlesque before? What was your experience like?
Do you think it’s cheesy and derogatory to women?
Or do you think, as I currently do, it’s great fun and helps celebrate the female form and women’s confidence and beauty in all shapes, sizes and styles?
Monday, 29 June 2015
Reminders reminders everywhere
Full flowing tears coming back and that stare
Everyone around seems to be having a baby
Ads, TV programmes, friends, all the picture of a happy family
Missing my Little Seed even more, that empty feeling even stronger inside
I thought I’d nearly reached the end of this emotional rollercoaster ride
Returning to work, people being nice, but I’m shocked how tired I seem
Just can’t believe it’s all real, life has gone and smashed our dream
Realising at this point it’d be the halfway mark
Right now we should be happy, having another scan, not in a world so cruel and dark
That desperate need to be a Mummy and having that little bump
Instead feeling lost, confidence blown, feeling a big fat lump
Getting nervous over the most basic day to day things
I thought the real me was back, until again started this sad daydreaming
People counting down, it was so long ago,
Surely she’s better and moved on? It’s forever, do they not know
That little life that ended all too soon, never to make it into our arms and world
A memory box is all that we have and my instinct our baby was a boy not a girl
Celebrating special events with loved ones are all too bittersweet
Reminders of where we should or could have been, fitting into our lifeplan all nice and neat
Instead seeing others with what we were meant to have, although of course happy for them too
Every day every night that slap in the face, trampling on your heart, it’s no longer that way for you
Moving forward and having good times again, feeling life maybe has some meaning for now
Yet then you’re suddenly down and questioning and crying and grieving, such a dive, how?
Up and down, smiles then frown, sparks back in your eyes then teardrops
Feeling until you have that baby, maybe this will never stop?
Sunday, 28 June 2015
Granted, I've likely blogged from outside before as I do mostly tend to write posts on my phone whilst out and about or sitting in a packed train carriage or public area. I've yet to have my own area though that belongs to me.
For 3 years whilst I was at Uni and for 7 years whilst owning my first home - a flat - I didn't have a garden. Well technically in my flat I had a small 'communal garden' and for 2 of the 3 years we had a garden whilst at Uni. None of these were 'proper' gardens.
We moved into our house end of September last year. It was the first property myself and my fiance were going to own together and so far so good - well we've survived being in the house without killing eachother for now!This is the first house I've owned and the first property full stop my partner has owned.
One of the big things I always missed when living in a flat was the chance to go outside. I love my sun and you can normally find I'm in a better mood when the sun is shining and I'm feeling healthier with a glowing tan.
Now the rain has stopped today (well it was really hot yesterday and this is the UK!) it feel so nice to be able to come out into our own little private area and enjoy some fresh air. Where our patio area is - and where I'm sitting at our recently bought garden table and chairs set - feels really private and secluded as I'm almost hidden in a corner, behind a small extension area and next to a high fence. Just me and my thoughts.
In addition, we live in a small little crescent and there is hardly any noise when you sit out here, apart from birds tweeting and other people who live nearby.
Our garden is pretty small in all fairness, but to us it's a start and it's our garden, and realistically due to our different working hours and not having much time together as it is, how big a garden do we really need in all honesty?
This garden is small and compact, but most of it gets the sun and it suits us just fine.
But, I have a question for you - how do you decide what to do with your garden?
When we bought our house we soon realised - on viewings and once we'd moved in - that the former owners were very keen gardeners. Our garden was in immaculate condition when we moved in - shaped lawn, lots of bushes and plants, a cute little hanging bird table, a little shed, they left us their lawnmower and washing line. We were set up. Or so we thought.
The key word in the paragraph above is bushes! Yes there may have been lots of perfectly pruned and healthy bushes when we moved in, but fast forward to springtime and everything was kind of a bit overgrown. More of a problem than that, our garden is small and taking up two big chunky sides of it with bushes does not help that situation.
So recently we've decided to cut almost everything away and start again. Yes right now the garden looks bare and a bit of a mess, and it did take a lot of hard work (and many scratches, cuts, bruises and garden tools), but there is so much space to play with.
The problem now?
Well, we're stuck.
We need to decide what we really want it to look like and how it will work for us and we either don't agree with each other, or - in my case - can't even decide a consistent theme with ourselves.
For example, I love the idea of painting the fences a colour rather than creosote and painting the shed another colour - more pastel - to match the new colour fencing. I also like the idea of a small water feature (very small), but I don't want a load of hassle of water pumps, electricity etc so want to see if we could find a basic one. I one minute want thin flowerbeds to replace the wide ones we have now and put lots of colourful flowers in, but then I'd really love the sides paved - still thinner than they are now - and big pots on them instead. Already I've bought a small Buddha head statue for the garden as I've always wanted one.
See? A bit of a mixed bag of ideas here? You want to check out my Pinterest Garden folder to see just how bad!
My other half seems on board with most of my opinions, but his concern with paving and pots is we won't have much colour in the garden. And where I think we could pave one edge, but the other have turf right to the fence, he thinks it all has to match.
How can it be so complicated for such a small space of land?
When you add in we don't have tons of money to spend, we've not got lots of time to spend gardening (to do it up and in future to keep things alive!) and we're already into July next week, it's leaving me a bit doubtful we'll ever get it right this year before rain, storms and snow set back in!
We've also come to realise what a sign of ageing it also is to be so interested in our garden! To top it off, in order to get all tooled up with garden equipment, we used the Tesco Clubcard Double Up campaign and exchanged all our vouchers for items such as - gardening gloves, secateurs, rake, spade, fork, shears, loppers and more. We did also buy a small basic barbecue and some utensils for that, but we've not had a chance to actually have a BBQ yet!
I'd love to hear what other people out there have done with their gardens. Right now any help we can get we could do with.
I'll try to keep you posted on progress - if there is any! - and just keep my fingers crossed the previous owners never see this and hate us for ruining their beautiful blooming garden!
Tuesday, 16 June 2015
Tuesday, 9 June 2015
Wednesday, 3 June 2015
Sunday, 31 May 2015
Tuesday, 26 May 2015
Wednesday, 20 May 2015
Monday, 18 May 2015
As I've blogged before, I am sure at some point I'll want a good rant and to blog about our experience with our local hospital and the NHS, but I will leave that to another day (each time we visit I have another hoard of bad things to list unfortunately).
This was our appointment for an internal scan to confirm if the medical management route had been successful. I had mixed thoughts already about this:
It may help us gain some form of closure
I would be devastated as it could confirm my baby was definitely and finally gone
I was worried they would say it hadn't worked and I needed an op
They would find some kind of problem like an infection or similar
As it turned out they did find a few things. They confirmed there were no remains of our baby (which for the last day or two I found has helped my emotions somewhat). However, there is still some 'items' internally which my body has not expelled for whatever reason! (The irony at how good my body is at holding on to things doesn't fail to frustrate and upset me daily after what has happened - often people say a miscarriage can happen if the body views it as a foreign item and tries to get rid of it).
At this point I was not offered an op as what is left is small - but of course needs to get out - I was told to either wait two weeks naturally and come back or to take the medical management tablets yet again. We went for the tablets to try speed things up, and after many hours at the hospital we then headed home to start the horrific experience we'd been through the fortnight before.
We also need to return to the hospital and that ward yet again in another 2 weeks to check everything is finally gone, if not they will have to consider 'other options'.
Thankfully this time round the pain - although awful - is not as bad and the other symptoms are nowhere near the same.
Each step of this is mixed, there is always a down if there is some form of up. I was starting to try and take some form of control on the situation (those who know me know I'm a control freak!) and so I can't control how quickly my body deals with this, I can't control the emotions (a great example of this is the manic laughing-crying-laughing situations that have occurred at times with my partner). However, I could control my food intake and trying to get back in shape (I had put on a lot from the first week or more of gorging on bad food, not much sleep and lying in bed at home). I'm determined to stick to my healthy eating as surely that should help both physically and emotionally. Yet again though, the down, I'd forced myself to try the gym towards the end of last week in a bid to try become a bit more 'normal' and 'me' again. Not allowed, the hospitals have told me I'm not to go to the gym, the most I should try is walking outside and I need to rest.
I must admit that knocked me as it was something I was doing to try gain back control and feel better. There seems to be this constant clash between your emotions and physical side being mismatched.
Since blogging and sharing - as I spoke about last time - I have found some more people have got in touch with similar experiences and I've also discovered yet more people through people I know who've been through miscarriage. It saddens me how many people go through this and how little it's talked about. That's why it's so nice for me to get comfort from others and to hear from other people too now who are going through or had similar experiences.
I did manage to (eventually) make a family party for our nephew's 1st birthday yesterday and spent time around more than a couple of people and non-family members (a first so far) and I was around babies and children.
So the appointment was not the closure we'd hoped for and the journey still continues, I had a bad night last night and today my energy levels are pretty low and I have some pain. But no tears yet today, so I'll take that for now.