Smear smiles

Today I went for a smear test

Well, if you want to be specific I went for a smear test, flu jab and asthma review! 

I’m sure I’ve posted about this before and I know others sometimes make a point of letting people know they’ve gone for a smear. To help raise awareness. 

It seems to go in peaks and troughs, whether it’s ‘in’ to promote going for a smear, when people want to encourage other females to go get checked out.

However, what shocked me today as I sat in the waiting room, waiting - because of course it’s NHS and there were delays - people are still making a fuss about going.

I don’t mean singing from the rooftops they’ve had a cervical cancer check to join the latest social media craze. 

No, people still don’t like going and - very much like labour - people seem to thrive on telling their horror stories! 

Why is it people think it’s a good idea to share negative experiences, in particular with those who are about to endure said experience? 

Today when chatting with a fellow Mum and in explaining my reasons for being at the doctors, I found out all how at their last smear they had ‘different’ results.  And of course In great detail the procedure afterwards!

Thankfully I know after having 3 children - well going through 2 births - that a smear should be a walk in the park. And after various blood tests during pregnancy, having an epidural In labour and then post-birth tummy injections that injections shouldn’t be too daunting at all. 

I’ve been a wuss for years so was quite proud of myself today! (as well as laughing at my old self!) 

A smear is so quick and easy to do. It can feel uncomfortable at times when they take the sample, but before you known it you’re done.

And if you find a decent healthcare professional - like I luckily have - you’ll end up spending longer chatting than the test itself actually takes! 

I had a good old gossip today. 

It was honestly over so fast. This morning In the shower whilst preparing myself i thought how people probably have certain rituals they go through when their time comes.

You know what, if it makes you feel better about going if you’ve ‘done your bikini line, have nice undies on, or anything really to help, just do it. 

And me? How did I find this latest episode, or moreso my health MOT as I kept joking. 

Well, they may have aged me, stress me out beyond belief and don’t allow me to ever have a normal conversation with other adults. But thanks kids. 

Thanks to bringing you into this world I didn’t feel too much at my check up today (sorry TMI)  and I didn’t feel faint or get phantom arm aches when facing a needle! 

If I can do it, then so can you. Alright some people might not be as ‘fortunate’ as me to have  kids that liked to ‘leave their mark’ when entering the world (and exiting me!) Regardless, a smear is over super quick and can actually save your life! 

Doctor dilemmas

The last couple of weeks I’ve had to use the healthcare system for my children and I’ve had very different experiences.

So much so, that I felt I wanted to share my thoughts and opinions on here with others.

All 3 of my children have needed to be seen for various reasons – I should add they’re all okay (or at least that seems the case for now) – I’ve used my local doctors surgery, a ‘hub’ service, called 111 for the first time and a walk-in specialist clinic at our local hospital.

I won’t go into details as to why my children have had to visit, but for those who don’t know, my eldest turned 3 in May and my twins will soon turn 18 months of age.

With my twin boy there was something that’s been concerning me and my fiancé for a while that we wanted checked out as it didn’t seem advisable to just leave it. I used to always take our firstborn to the doctors with my other half because he’d keep calm and I’d get in a flap, but with shift work, unpredictable appointments and having three little ones now I have to 'man up' and just do what needs to be done myself.

Admittedly I was at the doctors quite a lot in Olivia’s first year, she was my first born – my precious rainbow baby – so I probably went a few times more than needed (like most first time parents I imagine!) Those Mums out there will know the looks and the tones you sometimes get as a first time Mum (FTM) and although I get it as some of the worries probably are totally unfounded and laughable, it doesn’t help to treat the mother that way. However, now a Mum of three aged 3 and under I don’t really feel I fall into that category and seriously don’t have time to be going to the doctor – especially multiple times – if I can help it! If I’m there it’s because something is not right and is definitely different or wrong with my child or me.

I took Callum to the doctor (I should add an experienced doctor and one who has seemed relatively helpful previously) and had him seen initially about his eczema. Of course the rule of 1 issue 1 appointment and an allocated 5 minutes per appointment was in the back of my mind when I brought up my 2^nd concern, but as I was sat there with a 17 month old infant I felt I’d be listened to.

I was, sort of, interrupted a few times and a quick light shine into my son’s eyes and I was told he was fine and the reason why he was showing certain behaviours (when I pushed for a reason) was simply ‘everyone’s different’.

A few days later I realised I wasn’t happy about the response and vague and hurried check and I rang to book another appointment. Our doctors like to have a phone appointment first and then leave a prescription or book to see you after if they feel necessary. This day I had the call and the doctor (the same one I should add) asked us to come in that same afternoon within the next 30 minutes. Great! I was being taken seriously…or so I thought.

After being kept waiting over 15-20 minutes after rushing there from the local park as the appointment timing was unexpected to say the least, we were called in and the same vague check was done. My partner was with me and pushed a bit more so another hurried check was done and my son was presumed fine and after pushing some more we were told perhaps we should visit an opticians and then we were pretty much encouraged out the door…Not before some of my comments and concerns were near enough laughed at.

A day or two later on trying to book a children’s appointment I was in fact informed that under 5 years of age a child should be referred to a specialist clinic/hospital by a doctor as they have the specialised equipment a child so young needs.  So another (pretty tense  by now) call to the surgery and later on another call with the same doctor left me being told a referral was not going to happen as it’d take forever for us to be seen (20 weeks+) and we’re best to go to an A&E in an East London specialist hospital or (again after pushing) a walk in clinic at our local hospital during certain times.

We did attend this local hospital walk in clinic and they were pretty good – a doctor didn’t see us that day, but a quick sit down with the Sister and some questions asked we were told we’d be referred to a paediatric clinic and we’d receive a letter ‘soon’. Our concerns weren’t mocked in any way and rather we were reassured. And do you know what a few days later a referral letter came and we’ve got an appointment in about 3 weeks’ time! Again, the staff member said our doctor could have saved us a visit by simply referring us as he’s meant to.

It’s actually making me laugh writing this as I’ve realised how much we’ve used the health service the last few weeks as I’ve also used an out of hours hub service and 111 for my twin girl regarding a rash she had – they were pretty good to be fair bar the agonising waiting in a queue and being constantly cut off by one and then the robotic question asking by the other when the answers were already clear by what I’d said in my initial intro on the call. Still, I am immensely grateful to even have such services – and free of charge – so believe me this is not going to turn into an NHS bashing post – far from it!

In fact the most recent visit – with a different doctor – one I’ve never seen before in fact at our surgery, totally blew me away and has left me singing her praises still days after our experience.

I’d got two appointments half an hour apart (one for each daughter) and immediately she made me and my children feel at ease. My twin girl was walking up and down the treatment room and dancing, playing with the doctors shoes and waving, she was one happy bunny! Then I hesitantly explained to the doctor about my other daughter’s appointment and as she’s very aware I was unsure how to discuss the issue with her about and in turn was doubtful of her cooperation since she’s well and truly going through the ‘threenager’ stage right now!

That doctor used her initiative and her skills and didn’t cut me off, rush me out or tell me I’d have to wait for said appointment. She came out to reception with me to meet my daughter and did various ‘tricks’ and games in order to observe her and make her checks. She reassured me, made my daughter happy and in fact now keen to go back to the doctors! To give you an idea what this doctor was like, after being bossed around to do certain actions by Olivia, she came skipping and twirling into reception with her to meet Callum because he was the only one she hadn’t met yet and she didn’t want him left out! She gave me an idea of timings, is calling me in the next couple of days if there is anything unsure and to put any anxiety at ease and explained to me various outcomes and what to expect. She's even said if nothing comes about in the next 2 weeks (it involves another referral) then we should call her.

Totally polar opposite experiences, without a doubt.

So, to the latest doctor – thank you. Thank you for not making me feel like an inconvenience to you or rushing me along. Thank you for showing a real interest in my children and trying to make their experience as fun and stress-free as possible, taking me seriously, helping to ease my worries and adapting to the situation as needed.

To others in healthcare who deal with mothers and their children. I know you’re stretched, tired and put on by those above and a severely over-worked, under-appreciated system and at times probably face an often rude and on occasion unfriendly and even abusive public. You must have no end of deadlines, targets and goodness knows what other unrealistic goals to work to. However, please don’t forget the reason you got into the profession and what you mean to those people who come to visit you with genuine concerns and young little lives they are responsible for and would do anything for.

Just taking that extra minute or two, being a bit more flexible with the rulebook or  being creative with your approach and tailoring it can make a world of difference to a child and in turn their parent/carer. It really does matter.

Save your life in 5 minutes

                  Image: Jo’s Cervical Cancer Trust

I’ve just watched a debate on TV about smear tests. Ever since the sad loss of reality TV star Jade Goody heightened awareness of the health check, it’s popped up in the media it feels pretty regularly.

However; the truth is there are many many women out there who simply do not attend these appointments.

According to a survey by Jo’s Cervical Cancer Trust, one in four eligible women (aged 25-64) do not go for a smear test, rising to one in three among 25-29 year olds.

A welsh salon is the latest to highlight the topic this week, as it has been offering women a free bikini wax if they attend their smear. 

TVs Jeremy Vine Show was asking if this was a good or bad thing. To me there was no debate to be had.

Surely anything that gets women to go get checked is a good idea? 

I get it. I’ve had a few smear tests now, admittedly I’m not so bothered about them since having children. Hey, I think once you’ve given birth or gone through any process associated with getting pregnant you kind of give up the whole concern of who’s looking at your bits!   

When I first went I remember worrying about two things - was it going to hurt and did everything look okay down there.

I think it was my Mum who talked me through what to 
expect - well a rough idea. I was nervous going and it wasn’t the most comfortable experience. 

Whenever I have to go through any sort of internal check I’m always getting told ‘to ‘relax’. 

Like I say, I get it. It’s inevitable you’re going to be nervous about a stranger going down there and wondering if it might hurt.

However, if the alternative is potentially missing the fact you’ve got cancer. Isn’t it a no brainer? 

Yes you’ll avoid potential embarrassment and maybe some discomfort, but you could die.

Maybe that’s a simplistic and dramatic way to put it, but that is exactly the situation you could be putting yourself in by not going.

I agree nobody should feel pressure to look a certain way - whether it’s their genitals, their body shape or even simply their facial features. 

Being human I think it’s a natural instinct to worry about appearance and being judged. It’s certainly fuelled by media images and these picture perfect filtered selfies, but I think 
the pressure has and unfortunately always will be there in some shape or form. 

My view is if it makes you comfortable going to the appointment feeling freshly preened down below and that’s the way you feel happy to attend the smear test, then do it. If you like to treat yourself to a piece of cake after as a well done do it. If you like to have your best matching sexy undies on to feel happy having a smear, do it.

Personally I learnt appearance is NOT of any importance twice in my life. 

Of course I won’t ever forget that day I lay on a bed staring at a screen during a 12 week scan maternity appointment as I was told my baby had no heartbeat and it appeared to have stopped growing a few weeks before. I remember completely how before that appointment I’d carefully done my makeup and painted my finger and toenails, making sure I looked just right for that special moment. Not once did I think about how I looked as I had to go upstairs to another ward and have an internal scan. I never considered how neat my bikini line was as my heart broke and I felt complete and utter emptiness inside. 

Then I always laugh when I remember back to my NCT days and all us expectant Mums were discussing bikini lines, painting our toenails, shaving our legs and all sorts for the birth. I had a pedicure done before the birth! 

Believe me when you’re going through labour and pushing a baby out there is no moment you think ‘oh I’m glad there’s no hair down there’, ‘ooh I’m glad I picked the coral over the pink’ whilst you lay stroking your super soft silky hair-free legs! 

The medical staff are there to ensure that baby is safely delivered into this world and you are kept alive and well. They don’t care how you look. 

When you attend your smear, the doctor or nurse is there to complete the appointment and carry out a short procedure to check you don’t have any abnormal cells suggestive of cervical cancer. They don’t care if you’ve got ‘perfect lips’, ‘hairy bits’ or look like an underwear model. 

Some truths and tips:

Depending on who you go and see you might feel slight discomfort when the nurse or doctor does the swab 

Ask for someone you feel comfortable with - whether that be a female instead of a male, or a certain nurse. I always ask for a certain nurse at my surgery as I know she’s very kind, patient and gentle and always makes me feel at ease (in fact my Mum recommended her for this very reason herself!)

You don’t need to be waxed or shaved downstairs, but if you feel better doing that then do it 

You’ll lie down on a bed behind a curtain on some tissue with your underwear removed 

They need to insert a metal instrument which can be cold - they’ll likely try to warm this a bit for you

The appointment lasts around five minutes 

If you remain relaxed you won’t be tense below and will likely not even feel much

They need to insert and slightly move around a swab (looks like a larger/longer cotton bud) to collect the sample 

As soon as they are done you’ll be able to pop your underwear back on

A considerate nurse or doctor will tell you they’ll pause if you feel uncomfortable and check you feel okay throughout 

If you’re like me you might feel more comfortable chatting to the nurse/doctor during the process to take your mind off things 

This is simply a five minute appointment which could potentially help save your life

So the next time you get that letter advising your smear test is due? Go. Book it. Attend that appointment. You, your family and your friends are surely all worth it? 

World Breastfeeding Week

This week is world breastfeeding week

As a woman new to this world of being a mummy it's a topic close to my heart.

I breastfeed.

I'm proud I do it and I love the fact I do it.

I also think mummies who don't breastfeed are amazing too.

I do not like the stigma attached to mums who don't breastfeed as being bad or lazy and making those women feel like failures in some way.

I also do not like the way mums are judged for simply feeding their children in public. When you think all the sights you experience every day how can something so natural be deemed so disgusting?

Years ago the thought of breastfeeding seemed a strange idea to me I admit. Ew a baby sucking on your breasts? Ew. No thank you very much.

This from the girl who always said "er babies come out all covered in gunk when I have a baby I want it cleaned up before they hand it to me"!!

Cut to 9th May 2016 when my beautiful daughter entered this world at 10:10pm and changed our lives forever. And yes she was handed to me immediately and she was beautiful and I kissed her and cuddled her as close as I could. After she was then checked and we'd had 1 hour of skin to skin (thank you Queens Hospital labour ward staff. No the hospital is not all bad as people claim and they were amazing to us!) she was placed on my chest and she latched on immediately.

If I didn't feel amazing already for having got through hours and hours of labour and birth (if not extremely exhausted and in pain!) that sensation of feeding my child was astonishing - I felt so pleased she did it and I felt great I'd been able to do it.

Once I was pregnant this time round I said about half way through my pregnancy I wanted to try and breastfeed, but that I wasn't going to put myself under pressure. If I could great, if I couldn't no big deal.

I was lucky no midwives or NHS staff made me feel I had to breastfeed either - I know a lot of woke unfortunately get forced or guilt tripped into it.

So when the time came I was chilled out about it and yes I've had a successful time.

Well, don't get me wrong there were slight struggles. Such as she fed around midnight when born and then when the midwives came round about 7/730am to check how she was feeding and asked when she was last fed and went a bit crazy that she's not fed since. Yes I was a new tired mum and a bit clueless and had heard the next day midwives come round and show you what to do and as I'd sat up all night holding my newborn child and she'd seemed okay I thought all was well!

I then had to keep a chart and monitor when she fed and when she needed her nappy changed etc. And lo and behold once I knew what I was meant to be doing I fed my baby and our breastfeeding went well.

I tried to let her tell me when she wanted a feed - hand in mouth, turning her head to my chest etc and after a few weeks or less we'd established a 3 hourly feeding routine.

I think my whole being relaxed about whether I can breastfeed or not has helped keep me chilled out and successful in my feeding. Also my type of birth meant breastfeeding could be started naturally.

I've had a few hiccups along the way - very minor I must say and luckily for me - I've had to buy lanolin the godsend for breastfeeding mums (although not used much) and I had a bit of soreness early on a couple of times.

I also was very nervous to try expressing in case my baby went off feeding from me. My amazing health visitor as per usual reassured me and assured me when he came to visit when she was 9 weeks old that my feeding was well established and she would come back to me after the bottle and that Daddy should feed her first and to take our time.

Well, what do you know? 3 weeks later and she's accepted bottle and boob and I've even managed a girls boozy night out (oh the guilt and disappointment though at having to throw those 17oz of ruined milk away!) and I've even attempted to give her the bottle too (whilst covered in a muslin to try mask my scent and hide my boobs haha).

I've also fed in public, I've got a handy little cover to hide my modesty and am comfortable feeding when out.

I choose to cover up when out, some Mums don't. I used to feed her in a chair in her nursery now I do it on the sofa or on the side of the bed in the night. I've tried 'dream feeding' (breastfeeding your baby when they are asleep). I know my posture is not great when I feed her now. But you know what? I am comfortable and happy with what works for us and that's what we'll continue doing. And I hope I can continue to feed my baby with my milk until she's 6 months.

Support is so important - my fiancé has been supportive from the very start as have friends and family. I haven't needed to attend breastfeeding groups for advice but I know others who have and and they're great - use them. Get support and help support other Mums.

However as we mark National Breastfeeding Week, I want to salute all the mummies out there - whether you breastfeed, formula feed, express or whatever. Well done you, you're doing what's right for you and your baby. And if you're struggling with breastfeeding - keep at it if you feel you can and get support. If it's not working for you or bubba then stop. Don't feel guilty, do what feels right for you and little one.