Save your life in 5 minutes

                  Image: Jo’s Cervical Cancer Trust

I’ve just watched a debate on TV about smear tests. Ever since the sad loss of reality TV star Jade Goody heightened awareness of the health check, it’s popped up in the media it feels pretty regularly.

However; the truth is there are many many women out there who simply do not attend these appointments.

According to a survey by Jo’s Cervical Cancer Trust, one in four eligible women (aged 25-64) do not go for a smear test, rising to one in three among 25-29 year olds.

A welsh salon is the latest to highlight the topic this week, as it has been offering women a free bikini wax if they attend their smear. 

TVs Jeremy Vine Show was asking if this was a good or bad thing. To me there was no debate to be had.

Surely anything that gets women to go get checked is a good idea? 

I get it. I’ve had a few smear tests now, admittedly I’m not so bothered about them since having children. Hey, I think once you’ve given birth or gone through any process associated with getting pregnant you kind of give up the whole concern of who’s looking at your bits!   

When I first went I remember worrying about two things - was it going to hurt and did everything look okay down there.

I think it was my Mum who talked me through what to 
expect - well a rough idea. I was nervous going and it wasn’t the most comfortable experience. 

Whenever I have to go through any sort of internal check I’m always getting told ‘to ‘relax’. 

Like I say, I get it. It’s inevitable you’re going to be nervous about a stranger going down there and wondering if it might hurt.

However, if the alternative is potentially missing the fact you’ve got cancer. Isn’t it a no brainer? 

Yes you’ll avoid potential embarrassment and maybe some discomfort, but you could die.

Maybe that’s a simplistic and dramatic way to put it, but that is exactly the situation you could be putting yourself in by not going.

I agree nobody should feel pressure to look a certain way - whether it’s their genitals, their body shape or even simply their facial features. 

Being human I think it’s a natural instinct to worry about appearance and being judged. It’s certainly fuelled by media images and these picture perfect filtered selfies, but I think 
the pressure has and unfortunately always will be there in some shape or form. 

My view is if it makes you comfortable going to the appointment feeling freshly preened down below and that’s the way you feel happy to attend the smear test, then do it. If you like to treat yourself to a piece of cake after as a well done do it. If you like to have your best matching sexy undies on to feel happy having a smear, do it.

Personally I learnt appearance is NOT of any importance twice in my life. 

Of course I won’t ever forget that day I lay on a bed staring at a screen during a 12 week scan maternity appointment as I was told my baby had no heartbeat and it appeared to have stopped growing a few weeks before. I remember completely how before that appointment I’d carefully done my makeup and painted my finger and toenails, making sure I looked just right for that special moment. Not once did I think about how I looked as I had to go upstairs to another ward and have an internal scan. I never considered how neat my bikini line was as my heart broke and I felt complete and utter emptiness inside. 

Then I always laugh when I remember back to my NCT days and all us expectant Mums were discussing bikini lines, painting our toenails, shaving our legs and all sorts for the birth. I had a pedicure done before the birth! 

Believe me when you’re going through labour and pushing a baby out there is no moment you think ‘oh I’m glad there’s no hair down there’, ‘ooh I’m glad I picked the coral over the pink’ whilst you lay stroking your super soft silky hair-free legs! 

The medical staff are there to ensure that baby is safely delivered into this world and you are kept alive and well. They don’t care how you look. 

When you attend your smear, the doctor or nurse is there to complete the appointment and carry out a short procedure to check you don’t have any abnormal cells suggestive of cervical cancer. They don’t care if you’ve got ‘perfect lips’, ‘hairy bits’ or look like an underwear model. 

Some truths and tips:

Depending on who you go and see you might feel slight discomfort when the nurse or doctor does the swab 

Ask for someone you feel comfortable with - whether that be a female instead of a male, or a certain nurse. I always ask for a certain nurse at my surgery as I know she’s very kind, patient and gentle and always makes me feel at ease (in fact my Mum recommended her for this very reason herself!)

You don’t need to be waxed or shaved downstairs, but if you feel better doing that then do it 

You’ll lie down on a bed behind a curtain on some tissue with your underwear removed 

They need to insert a metal instrument which can be cold - they’ll likely try to warm this a bit for you

The appointment lasts around five minutes 

If you remain relaxed you won’t be tense below and will likely not even feel much

They need to insert and slightly move around a swab (looks like a larger/longer cotton bud) to collect the sample 

As soon as they are done you’ll be able to pop your underwear back on

A considerate nurse or doctor will tell you they’ll pause if you feel uncomfortable and check you feel okay throughout 

If you’re like me you might feel more comfortable chatting to the nurse/doctor during the process to take your mind off things 

This is simply a five minute appointment which could potentially help save your life

So the next time you get that letter advising your smear test is due? Go. Book it. Attend that appointment. You, your family and your friends are surely all worth it?