Friday, 17 June 2011

Do we ever grow up?

I’ve just put a photo of me and my Dad up on my Facebook profile in line with the latest campaign on there – to get everybody to do this in line with Father’s Day and leave the pic up until 19th June.

It just reminded me of some random thoughts I’ve been having lately about your parents and how much you really do rely on them.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I appreciate that not everybody is the same, but on talking to A LOT of close friends and colleagues it became clear recently that most of us in our late twenties/early 30s are still very much reliant on Mummy and Daddy.

This was highlighted to me even moreso when quite a few weeks back my parents announced to me they were going away on yet another holiday (they are retired and spend most of their time jetting off to new locations!) I was pleased for them, although slightly envious (no holiday for me this year, at first because me and my man are saving to buy a place together, but now obviously since I am sans job).  Anyway after hearing about Canada, Martha’s Vineyard, Boston, New York blah blah blah I started to calculate this was going to be more than their usual 2 week trip. Oh yes they were going for a month – a month?! A whole month... a whole four week period for me to survive without the parentals. Now, I am an only child so if this reaction seems a bit extreme/sad to you – give me a break!

I genuinely felt panic and sadness at the idea of them not being here to turn to. Although I am now the grand old age of 28 (nearly 29, but we don’t mention that...) I get my parent’s advice on everything – well everything I consider of any great importance.  Career, cash issues, property queries, major problems/difficulties I’m going through. Their big Canada and NYC visit coincided nicely with my handing-in-my-notice-and-panic plans too, how selfish of them!

So why is it that I have lived away from home for 3 years at Uni and owned my own property for over three years, yet I still feel certain decisions I can’t make without checking out the oracle all knowing opinion of my Mum and Dad first? Is it even fair of us to rely on them so much?

I am going through big guilt right now as obviously if I don’t find a job soon enough I’m going to get pretty short on cash relatively soon and so my parents have already stepped in to say they’ll lend me the money to help with the mortgage. I feel awful as they should be enjoying their retirement and not worrying about little old me, but they have quite strongly and clearly told me this is not an issue and something they would do without even thinking otherwise. I am indeed a lucky individual and extremely fortunate to be in such a position I know, but where does it end? And more importantly how will I cope when – I can’t even bear to write these words – they’re not here?...

This Sunday is Father’s Day – my Dad is not going to be here – so I am going to hire myself out to my boyfriend’s family instead and ask to borrow his Dad for the day instead. Then next Thursday is my Dad’s birthday – and again the selfish git will be gallivanting around New York or Boston or somewhere similar and not at home with me.

But do you know what good bloody luck to them both – if I am half as happy and set up as they are when I reach their age I will feel extremely blessed and one things for sure whenever the time does become right for me to become Mummy Melican myself I sure know how to bring up a child and support them in the best possible ways.

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