Doctor dilemmas

The last couple of weeks I’ve had to use the healthcare system for my children and I’ve had very different experiences.

So much so, that I felt I wanted to share my thoughts and opinions on here with others.

All 3 of my children have needed to be seen for various reasons – I should add they’re all okay (or at least that seems the case for now) – I’ve used my local doctors surgery, a ‘hub’ service, called 111 for the first time and a walk-in specialist clinic at our local hospital.

I won’t go into details as to why my children have had to visit, but for those who don’t know, my eldest turned 3 in May and my twins will soon turn 18 months of age.

With my twin boy there was something that’s been concerning me and my fiancé for a while that we wanted checked out as it didn’t seem advisable to just leave it. I used to always take our firstborn to the doctors with my other half because he’d keep calm and I’d get in a flap, but with shift work, unpredictable appointments and having three little ones now I have to 'man up' and just do what needs to be done myself.

Admittedly I was at the doctors quite a lot in Olivia’s first year, she was my first born – my precious rainbow baby – so I probably went a few times more than needed (like most first time parents I imagine!) Those Mums out there will know the looks and the tones you sometimes get as a first time Mum (FTM) and although I get it as some of the worries probably are totally unfounded and laughable, it doesn’t help to treat the mother that way. However, now a Mum of three aged 3 and under I don’t really feel I fall into that category and seriously don’t have time to be going to the doctor – especially multiple times – if I can help it! If I’m there it’s because something is not right and is definitely different or wrong with my child or me.

I took Callum to the doctor (I should add an experienced doctor and one who has seemed relatively helpful previously) and had him seen initially about his eczema. Of course the rule of 1 issue 1 appointment and an allocated 5 minutes per appointment was in the back of my mind when I brought up my 2^nd concern, but as I was sat there with a 17 month old infant I felt I’d be listened to.

I was, sort of, interrupted a few times and a quick light shine into my son’s eyes and I was told he was fine and the reason why he was showing certain behaviours (when I pushed for a reason) was simply ‘everyone’s different’.

A few days later I realised I wasn’t happy about the response and vague and hurried check and I rang to book another appointment. Our doctors like to have a phone appointment first and then leave a prescription or book to see you after if they feel necessary. This day I had the call and the doctor (the same one I should add) asked us to come in that same afternoon within the next 30 minutes. Great! I was being taken seriously…or so I thought.

After being kept waiting over 15-20 minutes after rushing there from the local park as the appointment timing was unexpected to say the least, we were called in and the same vague check was done. My partner was with me and pushed a bit more so another hurried check was done and my son was presumed fine and after pushing some more we were told perhaps we should visit an opticians and then we were pretty much encouraged out the door…Not before some of my comments and concerns were near enough laughed at.

A day or two later on trying to book a children’s appointment I was in fact informed that under 5 years of age a child should be referred to a specialist clinic/hospital by a doctor as they have the specialised equipment a child so young needs.  So another (pretty tense  by now) call to the surgery and later on another call with the same doctor left me being told a referral was not going to happen as it’d take forever for us to be seen (20 weeks+) and we’re best to go to an A&E in an East London specialist hospital or (again after pushing) a walk in clinic at our local hospital during certain times.

We did attend this local hospital walk in clinic and they were pretty good – a doctor didn’t see us that day, but a quick sit down with the Sister and some questions asked we were told we’d be referred to a paediatric clinic and we’d receive a letter ‘soon’. Our concerns weren’t mocked in any way and rather we were reassured. And do you know what a few days later a referral letter came and we’ve got an appointment in about 3 weeks’ time! Again, the staff member said our doctor could have saved us a visit by simply referring us as he’s meant to.

It’s actually making me laugh writing this as I’ve realised how much we’ve used the health service the last few weeks as I’ve also used an out of hours hub service and 111 for my twin girl regarding a rash she had – they were pretty good to be fair bar the agonising waiting in a queue and being constantly cut off by one and then the robotic question asking by the other when the answers were already clear by what I’d said in my initial intro on the call. Still, I am immensely grateful to even have such services – and free of charge – so believe me this is not going to turn into an NHS bashing post – far from it!

In fact the most recent visit – with a different doctor – one I’ve never seen before in fact at our surgery, totally blew me away and has left me singing her praises still days after our experience.

I’d got two appointments half an hour apart (one for each daughter) and immediately she made me and my children feel at ease. My twin girl was walking up and down the treatment room and dancing, playing with the doctors shoes and waving, she was one happy bunny! Then I hesitantly explained to the doctor about my other daughter’s appointment and as she’s very aware I was unsure how to discuss the issue with her about and in turn was doubtful of her cooperation since she’s well and truly going through the ‘threenager’ stage right now!

That doctor used her initiative and her skills and didn’t cut me off, rush me out or tell me I’d have to wait for said appointment. She came out to reception with me to meet my daughter and did various ‘tricks’ and games in order to observe her and make her checks. She reassured me, made my daughter happy and in fact now keen to go back to the doctors! To give you an idea what this doctor was like, after being bossed around to do certain actions by Olivia, she came skipping and twirling into reception with her to meet Callum because he was the only one she hadn’t met yet and she didn’t want him left out! She gave me an idea of timings, is calling me in the next couple of days if there is anything unsure and to put any anxiety at ease and explained to me various outcomes and what to expect. She's even said if nothing comes about in the next 2 weeks (it involves another referral) then we should call her.

Totally polar opposite experiences, without a doubt.

So, to the latest doctor – thank you. Thank you for not making me feel like an inconvenience to you or rushing me along. Thank you for showing a real interest in my children and trying to make their experience as fun and stress-free as possible, taking me seriously, helping to ease my worries and adapting to the situation as needed.

To others in healthcare who deal with mothers and their children. I know you’re stretched, tired and put on by those above and a severely over-worked, under-appreciated system and at times probably face an often rude and on occasion unfriendly and even abusive public. You must have no end of deadlines, targets and goodness knows what other unrealistic goals to work to. However, please don’t forget the reason you got into the profession and what you mean to those people who come to visit you with genuine concerns and young little lives they are responsible for and would do anything for.

Just taking that extra minute or two, being a bit more flexible with the rulebook or  being creative with your approach and tailoring it can make a world of difference to a child and in turn their parent/carer. It really does matter.