Thursday, 11 August 2011

Bloggers Block

Whether it’s down to my head being crammed full of facts, names and processes from my new role, or that my creative juices have temporarily stopped flowing, I can’t seem to write my blog.

I feel a bit like I’ve neglected it lately and it was only conversations at work this week that reminded me of its presence and my lack of contributions. So I’m afraid this post is going to be rather random and filled with a bit of a mix.

So I guess I should start by updating you on my new job. I’ve now done 8 days at my new company and I am genuinely really enjoying it – much to my relief. After all it would have been a bit of a slap in the face to go somewhere new and find you enjoy it less than the previous job you left. It’s also highlighted how little things in life really can make a big difference – things like ‘proper’ mugs to drink out of, not cardboard cups; a sense of general trust in employees and a friendly, approachable nature from management (on all levels).

My boyfriend has found it quite comical – and a reflection of my previous company – how impressed I am by what some people will argue is behaviour almost to be expected by employers. I guess perhaps still being in the new person and learning stage my view may also be somewhat skewed too!

In other areas of my life, I will find myself in the last year of my 20s after this Saturday. A very scary thought indeed. To be honest I have been so caught up in starting my new job and issues with my boyfriend’s career that I’ve not built my birthday up as much as I normally would.

I am a bit of a nightmare when it comes to birthdays, I believe this is down to having such a small family, when one of us has a birthday we like to make a big fuss. I have been known to celebrate my birthdays over a number of days and in fact when I was 25 I had 5 consecutive days of various celebrations. Tip – don’t have your work birthday drinks as the final night of birthday events if you choose to do this, it gets very messy and you will be extremely hungover the next day.

This year I’ve made no arrangements, partly because I’ve not had time and also because my boyfriend has something planned for Saturday – this is all a complete surprise though, so I don’t know what he has in store… I only arranged to go out for a meal and drinks tomorrow night with a close friend a few days ago and that was after my poor friend had to nudge me on it numerous times. I do wonder is this also possibly my way of denying my age and that this is the last year of my 20s, it just doesn’t feel real.

When I think back to being young, back then if I saw someone 30 years of age they seemed so grown up and pretty much sorted – good job, married, own a nice big house, have kids. I didn’t know what, but I was fairly confident in the fact that they had achieved something with their lives. When you get to this age you can’t help but question are you where you should be and have you done and seen enough? I will worry about that after my birthday, else I fear I will spend the day moping about the things I could have done and not what I have done with my life.
I’ve also thought about life and being young with the recent violence and looting in London and across the UK. It saddens me to think this is our future society and although I know this is not necessarily a reflection of the majority of young people today, I’ve seen enough evidence of how teens and schoolchildren feel they can act to know things are different now.

Who knows perhaps again this is further evidence of me getting older. I know for a fact I’ve started doing the whole ‘when I was young…’ phrasing and labelling young girls and boys wearing hoodies or in big groups as ‘yobs’. I just really do feel that things have changed and just general respect and accountability of actions is lacking somewhat nowadays.

I am ‘friends’ on Facebook with some young people – generally distant family members linked to me or my boyfriend, and I find I don’t like looking at their profiles. The girls look too made up and too grown up, the boys have ridiculous levels of bad language on their walls or are using terminology which I’d associate with ‘chavs’.

Even the things our 6 year old nephew is aware of shocks me sometimes, just the general information or terms they pick up simply being around other children at school is insane. I just remember being in more of a bubble when I was young and enjoying the magic of childhood, rather than rushing to become an adult – well at least until I was about 13+ anyway.

The other concern I’ve had of late is my weight (yes, yet again). My whole healthy eating, exercise regime has gone well and truly out the window and I need to quickly establish a routine so I can get myself sorted again. I am actually going to see if I can use my gym membership in the same chain near my office – talks of early morning or lunchtime workouts have been heard, now it’s just a case of making them happen…

It’s just the area I’m based in now – around Spitalfields, near Shoreditch etc, everyone is so skinny and trendy. Seriously, this whole area is not doing anything for my confidence, I feel like an old granny and that I can’t quite work out what to wear – something I’ve never felt before to be honest. I thought how great it was that in this company we could wear what we want (within reason obviously) in the office, but it does add another factor to worry about each week.

So there you have it, I’ve turned into an ageing, judgemental, plump, frumpily-dressed woman on the speedy downward slope to 30. Happy days. I tell you something though, if you need me to talk about work orders, outlines, corporate websites or the best train to get from Romford to Liverpool Street then I’m your lady!

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