Bringing back the balance

It has been a long long time since I've blogged. I feel I spend more time writing posts apologising for not having written anything than any other subject! 

I have had good reason. Promise! 

Myself and my fiancé have literally been living and breathing property. We've been focussed on me trying to sell my flat and buying our first home together a house (more on that another time). 

However, things seem - touch wood - to be a bit more on track and I've been trying to focus on having fun and doing things rather than just making the selling and buying my whole life! 

I seem to be managing to get on a more even keel finally between that area of my life and my social life again now.

One area where I've really been suffering is diet and exercise. It's been over three weeks since I've done any exercise and food and drink seems to have become a huge focus of late.

I'm not one of these people who gets stressed and stops eating. If only! No, I'm a comfort eater, meaning the last few weeks as well as no exercise, most days I've been eating non stop junk and drinking alcohol. 

My fiancé is the same. We've been getting takeaways, eating meals out and generally consuming far more volumes of food and drink than is needed. 

I've always said when I see programs or articles on obese people who have numerous health problems caused by their weight that surely they must reach a point and realise they're going too far? 

Myself I felt I reached that a few years back where I suddenly identified I'd got pretty big in size and was pretty unfit. 

Now I've never let myself get to that point again, but over the last few days on talking to my fiancé and others it's clear I've got a bit off track.

Ironically it's whilst eating out the last two nights saying to friends how I always find it hard to be healthy and still sociable, that something has clicked. 

So enough is enough.

It's time to bring back the balance.

I've done a little plan as you can see and decided to give good old Jillian a go again.

So today I've tried to eat healthily so far, drank loads of water and have done my workout DVD.

Day one, level one of Thirty Day Shred done.

I'm going to the cinema tonight and we're going for a carvery first but I'm going to stick to my calorie limit. 

Hopefully by focusing on my weight and fitness again (which is horrendous judging by how hard I found the DVD!) I will also keep a bit calmer on the house buying and flat selling process. 

I also plan to keep blogging about it so I hold myself accountable.

Measurements have been taken and the first step is starting it so here's to getting shredded! 

He loves me, she loves me more

Apparently people like to read blog posts that come right out and say something that causes debate.

Well, I've got one for you - in relationships one person always loves the other more.

Recently this has caused a few conversations at work and with friends outside of work. So I thought I'd put it to you. What do you think?

Think about it. Honestly. Just step back a minute and seriously consider this. If you're in a relationship stop and wonder, or think back to previous partners. Who always seemed to keep giving no matter what? Who truly loved without judgement?

"But our relationship is equal" "We love each other just the same". Rubbish. And I hate to break it to you, but if you're the one arguing this you're probably the one that loves more.

Does one of you tend to back down in arguments more than the other? Is one of you always dreaming of an ideal future of beautiful babies and a wonderful wedding day?

Now I'm not saying this is a negative situation. Far from it, I think this is what keeps relationships healthy. In the same way those couples who 'never argue' leave you rolling your eyes, because everyone knows a tiff now and then does no harm and keeps a spark.

Like most things in life, you need balance. The same is said for love.

It doesn't always have to be the same either, oh no I'm quite open to the fact that this can change. Over the life of a relationship who loves who more will inevitably change, depending on what events you both go through together.

Even if you love someone with all your heart and soul, you may be the one who loves less in your relationship. This is because it doesn't necessarily mean you don't love or care for someone, just the other person loves you just that little bit more. It doesn't make you the 'baddie'.

Of course there are relationships where one person loves less for negative reasons - they're cheating, they've fallen out of love and don't know how to tell their partner - but all I'm saying is it doesn't always have to be this way.

So there I've said it. There's always one who loves the other more in a relationship. What do you think? Am I talking rubbish? Am I nasty for even saying this out loud? Have I spoken about the 'unsaid'? Or am I scarred from past bad relationships? Let me know.

The other thing, someone said to me in our 'discussion' that you're better off being the one who loves less, you'll always be happy and cherished. I tend to agree. But what if you're naturally the bigger lover? Can you reduce your levels of love?

And as for my relationships, who do I think was/is the one to love more?....



You really think I'm that stupid? I'm not writing about that!!

Balancing Act

Here we are, week five into my plan to get fit and trim...Funnily enough a friend told me of a study they'd seen a week or two ago which stated females trying to lose weight and who write about it are more successful in their weight loss. I was so pleased as I was doing both.

Yet over this week that has changed. I've not written this blog and my route on the path to fitness has gone a little skew-whiff.

This week, so far we are in day number five. Out of those five days I have exercised one day. I have kept to my healthy eating on three days. For this week in total I will only be keeping to my healthy eating for three days out of seven and am expecting exercise to be two days out of seven. Not quite the same reports I've been listing previously.

I was also proud of the fact I had only consumed one glass of wine since I began my plan. That figure now stands at, well I can't really count an exact amount, but let's say definitely in double figures after this week.

I'll admit today I'm feeling a bit sorry for myself as I'm hungover - something I wasn't expecting until Sunday morning after my planned girl's night out. However I am a mix of emotions about this 'falling off' the fitness wagon. Part of me is disappointed in myself and annoyed I will have prolonged my weight loss journey. I can't even bear to think of the fact the scales will likely show a gain on Monday morning...

On the other hand I feel good, yes this week I've eaten the likes of chicken katsu curry, a chocolate cupcake and McDonalds (and consumed goodness knows how much alcohol in the form of wine and champagne). BUT I have also this week caught up with an old friend, enjoyed myself, laughed so much, had great fun with friends and colleagues at work and helped people celebrate special occasions.

This week I've said goodbye to a work colleague, celebrated a friend's birthday, laughed in hysterics with a friend, got closer with work friends, met a new life in the world, seen a family member (well my boyfriend's family) who hasn't been in the UK for over 30 years and is from Canada, discovered a new version of one of my favourite dishes and made some new plans to look forward to. In short I have thoroughly enjoyed myself.

I AM absolutely shattered from going to bed gone 1am for three days in a row this week and I know I'm going to consume far too many calories this weekend - but I'm going to enjoy dancing and laughing them off with two very close friends.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I've realised I need to be mindful of keeping a balance. Yes I want to lose weight and be happy in my body, I want to improve my fitness and future health. Moreover I also want to live my life, enjoy myself, discover new things and act my age (or arguably a lot younger!!)

It really is all about balance - in what types of food you eat, in how you approach fitness, in the way you manage your weight and in combining work and play.

Now when I weigh myself on Monday it could be a whole new more negative opinion from me and making sure I don't tilt the balance in the favour of fun will be hard. Overall though I feel I HAVE achieved this week as I've learnt a valuable lesson and the idea of balance finally seems to be sinking in...

Should it always be fitness first?

Why is it so easy to put on weight and become lethargic, yet so hard to shift it and get motivated? A couple of years ago I decided enough was enough and was determined to get myself in shape. I did this through a variety of means – going to the gym, boxercise, swimming and eating more healthily. I managed to lose nearly three stone in weight and dropped 2-3 dress sizes. I felt much healthier and happier with myself and found myself disgusted when I looked at old photos of myself.

However, what with this year having been one where there have been a few issues to deal with, my healthy regime slacked somewhat and I have quickly piled the pounds back on. What is the key to keeping healthy and dealing with what life has to throw at you, and in turn maintaining a good social life?

I know so many women who like me find they are constantly unhappy with their size. Is it just we are never happy whatever our bodies look like? Or are some of us just destined to be on a diet or some kind of plan all our lives?

Why is it some of us get stressed and can’t eat, yet the rest get down and get the munchies? How comes some people don’t really get much enjoyment out of food and just see eating as a chore, whilst others use eating as a social experience? Or what about those lucky souls who seem to eat what they like and don’t pile on the pounds?

I wonder what age do you get to when you feel satisfied with how you look? Or do you ever reach that point? Are us ladies just hard on ourselves (and perhaps men too) and spend our whole life judging how we look – not developed enough when young, too fat, too thin, and then when old too wrinkled, too grey?

If I set aside the time I have a variety of fitness options at my fingertips – the gym, Wii Fit, Zumba workout (I’ve had a Wii game since August and still not tried it), classes at the gym, a running club where I live, swimming, boxercise indoors with my boyfriend (he used to PT), when the weather is warm I live right near a park and fields so could go for long walks/runs. Why does it always seem we don’t have enough time?

Do we in fact always have enough time and make excuses all the time in reality? One thing I find hard is when to push myself more and when to perhaps take a break when the rest of my life is a bit manic. If I have a hard day at work should I push myself to go to the gym and relieve any tension with a workout? Or should I give myself time to relax and go when I am not so tired? I really do find it hard recognising if I am being lazy or if my body is legitimately tired out and needs a break.

So, I guess, if anybody is out there who has found some exercise plan they have stuck to, someone who manages to find time always to get their fitness regime to work and has achieved a good balance between going out, having fun and keeping their weight in check, please give me a shout! Any tips are much welcomed!

I worry about classes as my coordination is bad, I’m not sure whether to join a running club as each time I go to the gym my running abilities seem to vary. Is there something ideal out there for me? Am I just making excuses? What do you think?

I am in need of some fitness friends and some workout wonders please!.... Well after I pig out for a week in Morocco first, of course...