Monday, 23 June 2014
Changing your approach
One of the beautiful things in life is how diverse humanity is, no two people are the same whether in looks, behaviour or attitudes.
However, it can also be one of the most irritating things.
Nobody is perfect and there are good and bad points to each approach people choose to take.
Over the years I’ve learnt more about different management and learning styles and I’ve worked to become more adaptive to others.
One thing that I have become conscious of throughout this is I have a set style and I tend to work much better with those who adapt a similar approach. This can be both in my professional and personal life.
As I’ve worked through these courses/books/training I’ve learnt how different people can get on with different traits to their own by compromise, being more flexible and identifying said differences.
However, the problem is if you are not a flexible person you’re not going to try and consider other views and look to work together. Your way is right end of.
As a result I often find we end up in a never-ending cycle of those of us who are more sensitive/wanting to ‘keep the peace’. We start feeling peeved with other’s attitudes/behaviour -> then remember the different types -> we then realise we need to learn to change -> we try and change -> and are then met with others seemingly not bothering to make the same effort -> we then get annoyed again that we’re always the ones trying to be helpful.
So how do we overcome this?
This is something I still feel I’ve not found the answer to.
I get regularly frustrated when others don’t respond in a timely manner, don’t take ‘hints’ and wait for me to be completely and utterly direct and obvious (which they know I may not be comfortable with) and don’t get me started on being the ‘client’ outside of work. I often think of how I have always treated clients and worked for them and cannot believe what a bad service I’m then experiencing when I’m not the service provider out of work.
I’m going through similar things again at the moment. So I’m trying to broaden my approach and read up on it. Yes I’m in the cycle where I’m trying again to change and adapt, but not wanting to get annoyed part way through with others involved. Tricky.
Right now I’m reading a book by Karren Brady on how she worked her way up as a woman. She clearly has a very different tact to me, but I’m sticking with it and trying to learn something.
I’ve also still got Stephen Covey’s book on my Kindle to read and have recently purchased a book about change for work.
Let’s hope these provide me with all the tools I’ll need! I’ll let you know…
In the meantime any tips will be greatly received!