Saturday, 24 September 2011

Tough Twenties

This year a lot of my friends have or are turning 30. Interestingly, quite a number of them have found this a time to look at what they’ve achieved – or haven’t – in their lives at this point. Those friends who feel they have completed a number of the expected goals in their life by this point don’t seem so concerned about the big 3-0. However, those who are under the impression they should have somehow done more by now are not quite so keen on reaching three decades on this earth.

I too have found I’m starting to look at where I am in the walk of life and was interested to read a magazine article recently (Stylist of course!) that argued your twenties are the toughest ten years in your life.

The main things that seem to concern us are relationships – are you in one or are you married; career – how far have you progressed; children – do you have them yet; home – do you own one yet or money – do you earn enough/have enough of it?

It seems that perhaps nowadays we are having a crisis in our twenties, perhaps the days of the mid-life crisis are over? When young I can remember joking about men having their mid life crisis and having a young blonde bimbo on their arm and driving around in a flashy sports car. I associated being in your twenties as the time to have fun and be comfortable in life, not a time to start worrying about things!

Apparently eating disorders are getting more common for people around this age group and us girls are more likely to binge drink at this time in our lives. Rather than enjoying what we have got we’re worrying too much about what we haven’t!

This week my boyfriend, in his early thirties, lost his job. This was a career he was completely committed too and seemed a natural in. One of the first things I noticed he looked at was what he felt was a lack of achievement at this point in his life. A point I completely disagree with I have to add, but the point remains that we really do seem to set the bar high for ourselves nowadays and perhaps lose sight of how much already we have done in our lives.

I could sit and blog all day about how unfairly I think they treated him and what I now think of the London Ambulance Service, but don’t worry I won’t bore you all on that one…

This is when I think we need to listen to the older generation and gain knowledge from those who have been there and done it already. Your life is never going to be perfect, what will be will be and things happen for a reason. So rather than sitting there and getting depressed about what could have been, how about we all just get on with living our lives and see what happens?

At school I had decided I would be married at 25, have a nice big house and a successful career and by 28 I would have children. Hm, now at 29 I have my own property yes – a 1 bedroom flat and I am happy with my career. There is no big house though, I am in a 6 year long (so far) relationship and we aren’t engaged and don’t have any children. Not quite on track then.

To be honest though I’ve decided I’m just going to get on with it, you could depressed by facts such as those that claim we reach our physical peak at 26 (American Aging Association), or you can just live your life and take it for what it is.

Apparently we mentally deteriorate from the age of 27 (according to University of Virginia research), but I argue at 29 and in a new job I am learning more skills nearly every day. So I spent my school years wanting to be old enough to go clubbing, I spent college wanting to be older with my own place and in a cool job and now in my late 20s I’m starting to think perhaps your 30s could be where it’s at. Many women say they feel at their most confident at that age – you know who you are, you don’t need to impress anyone anymore and your life is on track. Or is it?

We always say in life the grass is greener on the other side, it also seems that in your age group life always looks more promising in the next decade.

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