The final step

Last time I wrote on here, it was a week since my op. Now, a week later, it's two weeks since my op and my journey upwards seems to be continuing. 

Don't get me wrong there have still been bad days along the way. Aside from excess weight and some small things, I'm feeling more like me every day.

I've remembered to carry on with small steps each day and to take things slow. Which is hard for someone who's super impatient and can be quite self critical!

I've been trying to do some form of exercise most days - whether that's a walk by the sea, in the countryside or on a treadmill, or even helping my fiancé in the garden! 

In the last week I got back in the gym, I've been told I'm not allowed to gym it yet. However, in my mind being allowed to walk outside is no different to walking on a machine so I've given it a go (treadmill walking for 90 minutes is SO exciting as I'm sure you can imagine!) 

Socially I've been gradually seeing friends too, some even on my own - a huge step compared to where I was! 

Recently I've also met up with a friend who's expecting - something that many people have had bad experiences of and I was super nervous of I'll admit. Thankfully it all went really well, I don't know if that's because my friend is so nice and is laid back herself or if I was on a 'good day'. Either way it went well. 

Now the next and possibly last step I guess, is to return to work. Again, luckily my company have been supportive so far and I'm easing back in. It feels a huge deal to me though so I'm hoping that like all the other things I've built up it'll actually be okay. 

I'm now reading again, have been enjoying some nice food and drink, having to relax and rest when it's been sunny has meant my skin is looking pretty healthy and quite brown and I'm looking forward to plans again - theatre visits, enjoying films, planned gigs, my friend's wedding and being bridesmaid and more. 

I've also completed something before this journey ends (well I don't think it'll ever end but it'll become more positive than a struggle I hope). My memory box for Little Seed is complete - I got a nice box, all the memories and key items are all included and I also got some nice trinkets and pieces in memory too. I'm really pleased with how the box has turned out and now we've got something we can always look back on. 

As our garden is an ongoing (and also seems like it's going to be long) project, we've not opted for a plant in memory as yet.

So wish me luck, my last scary step begins tomorrow! 

Burying their heads in the sand: men and their Ostrich syndrome

I was asked recently to blog about what it is about men that means they don’t like to ask for help, why it is when faced with an issue they bury their heads in the sand – in what we’ll call the Ostrich Syndrome.

We all know the classic examples – lost when driving they go into denial, can’t find what they need in a shop they will keep walking around until it appears, or just leave empty handed, the list goes on.

When it comes to relationships, a lot of men are even worse. Us ladies might well get accused of talking too much but at least we share and try to solve things. Men? Oh no, the favoured approach – according to a lot of my single friends – seems to be to just start acting like an a***h**e when the going gets tough and try and deal with it that way.

Not sure if you want to be with a girl anymore? Just treat her like rubbish and wait for her to dump you. Finding it hard to break it to a lady you don’t want another date with her – don’t worry just don’t bother contacting her and ignore her attempts to contact you. Find someone else you think you fancy more than your current partner, just relax, sleep with them both until one finds out and makes the decision for you!

The same is true if something is bothering a man emotionally, quite often men seem to have this block where they don’t want to back down or show their softer side. This then leads to men giving the impression they don’t care, when in reality they really truly do. I know of guys that end up making themselves ill or really stressed out just because they can’t face the reality of their situation and talk to people around them. They’d rather deny it all and leave it to another day to deal with.

So why are men so scared to deal with things and ask for help? Why is there this feeling that it is seen as a sign of weakness to admit you need help?

Why would a man rather be deemed a nasty person with no heart, than try being honest and talk truthfully about their feelings and thoughts?

I’ve had experiences of male family members who struggled to show their emotions and boyfriends where it took a long time to face their fears and start dealing with life. I think all of us will have experienced some form of male Ostrich Syndrome at some point.

Men, when will you take your heads out the sand and realise? Us women want you to talk, you don’t need to be the strongest in control one all the time, we’d rather you just be you. Everybody makes mistakes, if you can’t find something or you take a wrong turn it doesn’t matter. If you decide after a first date we’re not quite what you thought we were, then please just tell us early on and let us know from the start rather than break our hearts after date number ten (or even year number three).

On the other hand, women reading this blog, please do rest assured they’re not all like this. There are honestly plenty of good men out there who will open up – granted the majority of the time they’ll keep most things clammed up inside, but on the odd occasion you might just get a bit of honesty or a cry for help from them…Honest…