Not dressed up, but somewhere to go

I’ve got a bit of a dilemma on my hands, I have a fancy dress party to attend. In two days. My outfit? Still undecided.

I am normally super organised, at everything, yet for some reason I felt it’d be alright to not bother with my outfit until last minute. I have been feeling a bit rough this week – I still don’t quite know if I’ve got a cold or if this is just hayfever – and so my enthusiasm for said party is a bit lacking I admit.

Embarrassingly my boyfriend had his outfit picked weeks ago – he is recycling an ensemble purchased for a stag do a few years back and was only worn for all of an hour, but still… Being beaten on outfit planning by a man – a very masculine, not-that-into-fashion one at that – is not good.

The problem I also have is I’m feeling a bit porky at the moment (my own fault for lack of gym and stuffing my face for the last few months) and so I don’t want anything too revealing. Try being female and searching for fancy dress – ‘sexy’, ‘skimpy’, ‘fun’ (aka bordering on slutty) are what you face. Dressing up and trying to keep a bit of dignity do not go hand in hand for us ladies.

Granted, only recently I purchased a 1960s outfit, some have suggested I reuse this, but thanks to Facebook and me being a typical girl, there is just no way I can wear that again so soon. Plus I don’t think my hair would forgive me if I backcombed the hell out of it again already.

Although I thought it’d make things easier going to a party without a theme (after a 60s party and an upcoming 80s dress-code this was welcomed) I actually find the sheer volume of choice completely daunting and I’m getting so confused.

The host/birthday boy has also told me what he is going as and so I’m very conscious to make sure I don’t go as something associated with his attire/character as that’d look a bit weird. His girlfriend is not matching with him, so if I did, well, it’d just look wrong I feel.

Just when I think I’ve found something I like though I’m hit with the extortionate price tag accompanying it. What is this fascination with fancy dress parties anyway? You buy an outfit, you wear it once, you put it in the back of the wardrobe and never see it again. After all no matter how much you like your selection it feels wrong to wear the same thing to another fancy dress party and almost like cheating. Well for us girls anyway.

To make matters worse, last time I went to a fancy dress party for this guy me and his Mum ended up going in exactly the same costumes – Snow White. He also has them in a proper hall and people always make an effort and look good, so I can’t really go for a half-arsed homemade effort. Oh god, the more I blog about this, the more I am getting stressed out!

I’m going to get back to my searching –the adult mermaid costumes, sexy cop outfits, shipmate sweetie, kinky nurse and naughty nun, the list goes on and on and on. And the options get dirtier and shorter and more expensive.

Fancy dress? Bah humbug! …Oooh…what about Scrooge??

Confessions of a FORMER shopaholic??

Something happened today which has made me panic. I went shopping and I didn’t 100% enjoy it if I’m honest. This has got me in a bit of a worry.

I’ve always loved shopping, to me there is no better feeling than coming home laden down with bags stuffed full of new purchases. Granted I have had days where I have finished the shopping spree and been absolutely shattered, but I have never really felt unhappy whilst out and about and partaking in retail therapy.

Today though I was a beaten woman. Today I went out with my Mum to try and purchase an outfit for a 60s fancy dress party I’m going to on Saturday.  Sounds easy enough a task right? Oh no, not if you dare to try and make things match up in just the remotest sort of way.

So, I managed to get a 60s style shift dress – black and white with a flower belt, which actually came with a headband and earrings – all for £20. Bargain I thought!

The shop assistant was actually super helpful and rather than pushing me into buying things, she stated how my hair as it is could be set into a beehive and there’s no need to waste money on one of the wigs they sell. She suggested I try a Bump It – can I just explain here both me and my Mum were so confused at this point, did she say ‘bunpick’, ‘bunthing’, ‘bumpet’? Thankfully she suggested a couple of shops where they sold them and after asking a very confused girl on the tills for one of these contraptions she provided what we wanted and it was in the sale for £1, result!

Basically, these grips fit in your hair and give you more volume so you can create quiffs, beehives and more. Now, I haven’t tried it out yet but so far I am pretty sold on this creation. I’ve never heard of it before! A true sign I’ve not been shopping enough recently. Maybe that’s why I found the shopping trip so hard to handle, I’ve been away so long I’ve got some sort of allergic reaction to it?

Anyway, all seemed to be going very swimmingly. That was until I tried to get some boots – there are tons of cheapo tacky shoe places in the lovely Romford, I thought getting some PVC/plasticky looking boots would be a doddle. Oh no, not when I want them. There weren’t any boots to be seen, anywhere.

Okay perhaps I can wear some patent shoes I’ve got – Mum lived through the sixties and seemed to think this would work. Yes all I need is some white tights that’d work. So off we go to get some white tights. Now, is it me or is this a pretty basic item?

Of all the staples to see me through this shopping saga, the one and only Primani let me down. NO! I hear you cry. Yes, the shop that normally does every colour of tights under the sun and at a cheap price (let’s face it when am I going to wear half this stuff again), didn’t have any white tights. I tried every clothing, accessory or footwear shop in the area – nothing. Just one pair in the shop where I got my dress (yes we did do numerous loops of the shopping centre), but only in size medium.

No I’m not being fussy, my legs are pretty elephant-esque, but medium should fit them, but the deciding factor in leaving them there was the fact the box said they would fit up to 5ft8 tall women. That is most certainly not me, try adding another 3 inches onto that.

What do you reckon? Should I have chanced these tights that might be too short or was I right to leave them sitting there? This is actually really bothering me this evening to be truthful with you. To be honest visions of me in a 60s mini dress with my chunky knees was bad enough, but to stretch over that too small white tights and then spend the evening walking like a penguin with the crotch sliding down was just too much.

The other nightmare was bracelets, every girl likes to accessorise. I have lost count of the number of times I’ve heard about the monochrome look being in and how fashionable black and white is. Yet today not one shop had white chunky bangles.  I started to go insane and got very very angry.

In fact me and Mum both started to actually go a little mental after a while – we tried to get all the shopping done before lunch. Big mistake, we ended up eating at about 330pm with dry red eyes, giving a manic look to passers by, achy legs and feet and starting to imagine random items in shops were what we wanted (we actually contemplated seeing if curtain pole hooks would work!)

So there you have it, after 6, nearly 7 hours of wandering round the shops – including a near on 30 minute wait for my awful bus – I decided I am done with shopping. I just did not enjoy today and I think we can safely say Mum felt the same.

I shall continue my quest for white tights, bracelets and 60s boots for now.  Well online that is. I tell you what though if anyone turns up at this party on Saturday not in full-on 60s regalia God help them, I will not be held responsible for what I might do…